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September 16, 2011

Overnight Open Thread (ONT) Friday Edition [Ben]

I got pulled into this at the last moment. So if it stinks, and oh boy will it, then that's my excuse. Sit back and embrace the suck.

Brilliantly Smart-A$$ Responses to Completely Well Meaning Signs.

Hereís a taste.

It should be noted that the last one would probably get you a $10,000.00 fine from OSHA.

From Cracked, Six Judges Who Went Insane on the Bench.

Including one Judge who gave a poetic ruling:

We thought that we would never see
A suit to compensate a tree.
A suit whose claim in tort is prest
Upon a mangled tree's behest;
A tree whose battered trunk was prest
Against a Chevy's crumpled crest;
A tree that faces each new day
With bark and limb in disarray;
A tree that may forever bear
A lasting need for tender care.
Flora lovers though we three,
We must uphold the court's decree.
Meh. Itís no undersea grotto, thatís for sure.

Are you Sexperienced? Check out the Sexperience 1000.

As it turns out, I'm not as sexperienced as I should be. There was no option for lights off and clothes on.

T-Minus 20 days until the start of the NHL Regular Season! Sing along if you know the lyrics!

Apparently this is how you sentence a terrorist.
Personally, I've always been on the "war" side of "war on terror", but this judge gives a pretty good argument for the other side.

Here is the money quote from sentencing:

We are not afraid of any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans. We have been through the fire before. There is all too much war talk here. And I say that to everyone with the utmost respect.

Here in this court where we deal with individuals as individuals, and care for individuals as individuals, as human beings we reach out for justice.

You are not an enemy combatant. You are a terrorist. You are not a soldier in any war. You are a terrorist. To give you that reference, to call you a soldier gives you far too much stature. Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your attorney who does it, or that happens to be your view, you are a terrorist.

And we do not negotiate with terrorists. We do not treat with terrorists. We do not sign documents with terrorists.

We hunt them down one by one and bring them to justice.

So war talk is way out of line in this court. Youíre a big fellow. But youíre not that big. Youíre no warrior. I know warriors. You are a terrorist. A species of criminal guilty of multiple attempted murders.

In a very real sense Trooper Santiago had it right when first you were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where the TV crews were and you said youíre no big deal. Youíre no big deal.

I enjoy watching standup on YouTube. It allows me to accomplish two things I love, laughing and the avoidance of human interaction. I've been on a Dave Chapelle kick lately. I've always thought his standup was better than his TV show. Normally I don't care for "black people act like this and white people act like that" humor, but I think Dave pulls it off. (EXTREMELY NSFW Language)

Just a reminder, be sure to sign up for the Ace of Spades HQ Facebook group.

And don't forget to throw a few shekels to the head Ewok. Movie tickets and dissertation length reviews aren't going to pay for themselves.

Tonight's Post Brought To You In Part By The Letter G:

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