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May 09, 2011

New Attempt To Scare You: Global Warming Will Destroy Your Access To Internet Porn

Science, with a slight dash of charlatan doom-calling.

Wi-fi internet access and other communications are at risk from global warming unless measures are taken to protect them from rising temperatures and stormier weather, a government report warned on Monday.

Presenting the report, the secretary of state for the environment, Caroline Spelman, said that higher temperatures can reduce the range of wireless communications, rainstorms can impact the reliability of the signal, and drier summers and wetter winters may cause greater subsidence, damaging masts and underground cables.

The threat posed by climate change to internet and telephone access is a rare example of when the developed world would be hit harder than developing countries, which are in general more at risk from increased floods, droughts and rising sea levels.

"If climate change threatens the quality of your signal, or you can't get it because of extreme fluctuations in temperature, then you will be disadvantaged, which is why we must address the question," said Spelman, "and just imagine in the height of an emergency if the communications system is down or adversely affected."

Do you realize what this means?

If we don't destroy our economy immediately, we all could be plunged, temporarily, back into the Dark Ages of 1991-1993.

You might have to sign up for America Online again, people.

America. On. Line.

Get with the program, wingnuts. The porn you save could be your own.

Thanks to Johnny.


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posted by Ace at 12:40 PM

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