Overnight Open Thread

What say we get things started off on the wrong track...

No question about it, the man’s sperm(s) slice like a fuckin’ hammer. Is sperm singular or plural? Or both? Or neither? Or a type of whale?

Nothing more to see here people...just move along below the fold.

Good Times in the Broadcast Studio x2:

Found both of these at Dori Monson’s place. Here we have two very different tales from two different newscasts from our friends in Oz.

One quite happy and involving “long, stabby things” as well as whacking things off from a distance:

But on the other, not so much:

Apparently the on-screen talent had been “involved with each other” in the past. And you have to admit, it is a very small urn/trophy.

While I was grabbing the embed link for the above, what did I see off in the YouTube sidebar? A thingy about some Aussie who’s started some sort of “Free Hugs” campaign. It’s probably ancient but still disturbing since, according to a survey of me, by me, what he really should be offering is “Free Gropes.” Dude seems to lack ambition and the drive to “take it all the way.” Slacker.

No word as yet concerning a reciprocal campaign of “Free Shivs Between the Rib-cage of Anyone Who Approaches Me On the Street and Gives Me an Unwanted Hug” but the marketplace always has ways to fill such demands.

The Boombox Project:

In which boomboxes throughout the ages are studied, archived and presented in gallery form. Just because, that’s why. Quit asking stupid questions. Or even intelligent ones.

"Exactly when the term ‘boombox’ hit the streets is not known for sure. In the United States, department stores apparently began using the term in marketing and advertising as early as 1983. Street slang linguists (Ed. WTF?) pin the term down at 1981, and define the boombox as “a large portable radio and tape player with two attached speakers.”

Article goes on tediously to describe the boombox in terms of class and ethnic distinctions (yawn). So, go for the gallery of boomboxes and stay for…well, nothing. Really, if you’re going to write about things that go “boom,” wouldn’t the following be at the top of your list?

I'm pleased to present to you "The Boomstick Project:"

National Geographic’s ‘Fight Science:’

In which fighting occurs and is analyzed.

This is not the National Geographic that I once knew while growing up. That Nat Geo was concerned with providing the youth of my day with map inserts, photos of exotic wildlife and landscapes but most importantly pics of topless aboriginal women. And even more importantly how to sneak said magazines into our bedrooms and hide them between the mattresses. For further study of course.

Geez, what to expect next?

Marlin Perkins & Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom doing some hot Zebra on Zebra action?

Lawrence Welk laying down some ‘gangsta polka?’

Reader’s Digest with a “Letters to Penthouse”-style section (but in a down-home sorta’ way involving apple pies cooling on the windowsill rather than pizza deliveries), kinda’ like their “Laughter is the Best Medicine” column. Except with super-hot sex and apple pies. Which always make me laugh.

And even “Hee-Haw” doing cousin-on-cousin bits with Buck Owens and Roy Clark providing the background music. Though I think that actually occurred on a fairly regular basis. Minnie Pearl seemed do-able, at least with the lights off. There was just something about that perpetual tag on her hat….

(All of the above were regular staples of long summer weekends spent at my grandparents' house in the '70s. But not in the sleazy way I just wrote about it.)

OK, remembery time over...

“Tonight I’m Frakking You:”

CDR M sends this along because he apparently doesn’t have enough to do on his current watch where he’s supposed to be hand-carving nuclear fuel rods for various naval vessels and field artillery pieces, a skill that’s been passed down through the ages from the original teachings of the Benedictine monks that served the Greek emperor Kublai Khan in the late Cretaceous Period, and which he would’ve studied at the Naval Academy at West Point for at least 16 years at taxpayer expense. Your tax dollars NOT at work.

It's a geek piece or something:

Saturday Night Cock Fight/PSA:

Because I care, and I’m all about protection. Glowing protection.

Happy Hortaday!

Why Spock tried to mind-meld with this highly mobile and pissed-off slice of school lunch style pizza I’ll never understand. All that was needed was some parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.

Vic’s Musical Selection for the Evening:

It’s a catchy tune, I suppose. You can hum along to it. Was featured in the movie River's Edge starring Crispin Glover, Keauaowneeaioaueaiweouiaewaoieau…(+vowels to the 13th magnitude) Reeves and Dennis Hopper.

As an alternate he suggested the following. I think he’s getting a little soft on me here. No doubt he was up all night watching “Bedknobs and Broomsticks” again.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

posted by Genghis at 09:46 PM

| Access Comments