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Iowahawk Spoofs Ezra Klein's High School Essay, "The Constitution Is Like Super-Old 'n Stuff" | Main | Murkanskey Certified Winner of Alaska Senate Race
December 30, 2010

Hot Tamales: Man Arrested For Masturbating On Flight; Claims He Was Just Trying to Relieve Burning from Spilled Tabasco

In flight entertainment.

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

The girl, 17, saw him doing the deed under the fold-down tray, in the, uhh, upright and locked position, IYKWIMAITYD.

There's a time for that, and that time, of course, is overnight flights.


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posted by Ace at 05:38 PM

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