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December 13, 2010

Lame duck congress: all your school vending machine are belong to us

Obama is expected to sign this piece of shit legislation.

...The $4.5 billion measure would expand free school meals for the needy and give the government the power to decide what kinds of foods may be sold in vending machines, lunch lines and fundraisers during school hours....
The companies that service the vending machines will probably be hardest hit as sales volumes plunge. Not many kids are going to be captivated by "healthy" snacks with the taste and consistency of baked wallpaper paste.

OTOH, any budding young capitalists will quickly realize they can make a run to Dollar Tree and stock up on "unhealthy" Little Debbies and other shit like that, then make a killing bootlegging them to their classmates who've grown weary of the new Federal government dictated vending machine "snacks".

Of course, TSA will soon be consulting with school districts on methods for frisking students so all that contraband Dollar Tree stuff can be confiscated before it touches any eager lips.

Didn't we try this sort of thing already with prohibition? Yea, we did.

Didn't it create a whole new underground economy leading to vastly increased power for crime syndicates? Yea, it did.

Jill: pssst, Johnny, can you hook me up? I'm Jonsing for some twinkies?

Johnny: no can do babe, not today, I got Ding Dongs in stock this week.

Jill: OK, I'll take'em today, but you'll have the Twinkies next week, right?


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posted by Purp at 10:22 AM

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