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September 17, 2010

Overnight Open Thread

Impossibly Early Edition

Some random Fridayness. You’ve earned it! (or more likely stolen it) Stick with it to the end and you'll be rewarded. Keep in mind that "rewarded" is a neutral term.

Here’s tonight’s music-ness (Who knew Frodo had a band?):

Stay on target...stay on target...

What to do if one of your Body Parts Falls Off:

(And I don’t mean “gnawed off” by a cannibal zombie or similar…that’s different and requires other solutions altogether.)

In a rare moment of useful journalism, CNN provides a guide on how to get those erstwhile parts of yourself back where they belong, pulling together as part of the team, because there is no “I” in eyeball.

“Emergency room physicians say people often don't know what to do with a body part that's become derailed, whether it's a toe, finger, tooth or an eye that's popped out of its socket. Here's some advice:”

“You’re doing it wrong!” she said…

“A nurse at Swedish Medical Center admonished Beaty and his wife when she saw his finger lying in ice. "This is not how to do it," Beaty's wife, Linda Carlson, recalls the nurse saying. Then, a little more tactfully the nurse added, "You probably don't plan to do this again” The nurse informed the couple that although they were right to keep the finger cold, direct contact with ice could give the vessels freezer burn and make reattachment difficult.”

Ok then: finger freezer burn bad. We all know that it ruins steaks and stuff so it’d obviously make our reattached fingers somewhat less than finger lickin’ good. But what’s this odd piece of advice:

” Finally, notes Manthey, keep the body part with you. For example, don't give it to a spouse, who might end up getting separated from you on the way to the hospital.”

I’m just…uh…trying to picture that scenario. So let’s say you cut off your finger (or other appendage) in some particularly sub-moronic way. Your very concerned spouse then insists on driving it to the hospital while you follow along in a separate car and meet them there. Is it a ruse and they’re already on the way to Mexico to sell your finger (or other appendage) on the black market? Or are they planning on pulling a Lorena Bobbitt, dumping whatever it is you’ve lost on the roadside? However improbable, it may be good advice to stick close to your body part.

Anyway, some other tidbits for missing bits:

” If you lose a tooth, say, at a ball game, and neither milk nor water is immediately available, "suck off the dirt," she advises. After rinsing, immediately put the tooth back in its socket. To make sure you've put it in correctly, bite down, and it should feel normal. "I've had patients put it in backward," Harms says.”

So remember that: “Insert pointy part of tooth into what remains of your gums.” And:

” If your eyeball becomes dislodged, don't try to put it back, Dankner warns. "You could push the wrong part of the eye and cause more problems," he says.”

I suppose, but I’m assuming that Dr. Dankner hasn’t seen the eyeball scene in Hostel. Sometimes it’s just best to let these things go. One little snip and you’re free from it. And then jump in front of a speeding train. Sadly, the article doesn’t mention what to do if you should lose your junk, which is the most likely scenario facing the ONT crowd (by accident, revenge or other means).

You could always take preemptive measures though, as the not-quite-SFW video below the fold suggests, but that too appears to have its own set of risks:

Well, that was all groovy and such. There's only one possible way to follow up something like that. And I think you know what it is...

Designing Godzilla:

Geez...a cup of sweat after takes? Idea forming...idea forming...*ding* The Godzilla Home Workout System! For 3 low low LOW payments of only $39.95 you'll receive not only the Godzilla workout suit and foam model of Tokyo for your step and stomp....ehh. Screw it. Moving on...

I have no Idea What This is but I'd Rather be doing it at the Moment:

The Making of the Electric Feel Video:

You may not care one whit about the actual song or most of the music video, but the band somehow managed to find the original animatronic Jamboree critters at Chuck-E-Cheese along with the guy who created them. It's really two separate short documentaries in one. The inventor is a trip though. Be on the lookout for his non-internet e-mail device prototype in the clip.

And Balloon-kitteh:

Where be mah clawz!?! Doez not workz!

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by Genghis at 08:40 PM

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