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August 04, 2010

The Sperminator: Spree-Spritzer Sporting Spray-Bottle Spunk Splatters Shoppers with Splooge

A one-day pattern-spiller... I hate the weird ones.

A Maryland man is accused of squirting semen from a bottle onto shoppers at two Gaithersburg stores, and police are looking for other potential victims.
Michael Wayne Edwards Jr., 28, has been charged with spraying the fluid on a shopper at a Giant Food store in Gaithersburg on July 15. Police said he got the liquid on a woman and then snapped a photo of what he had done with his cell phone.

Edwards has also been charged in a similar incident at a Michaels craft store, also in Gaithersburg.

Police said they are looking for at least two more victims. Anyone who noticed a liquid on their clothes but wrote it off as benign is urged to call 301-258-6400. Edwards is free on bond.

He'll be back.

Let's see what you've got here...
you've got alcohol, fireworks, condoms...
and a spray bottle filled with your own
genetic material. Let me ask you something--
what were you planning
on doing with these things?

More uncouth news, utterly beneath the exalted dignity of David Klinghoffer, at The Other McCain.

posted by Ace at 01:34 PM

| Access Comments


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Police said he got the liquid on a woman and then snapped a photo of what he had done with his cell phone. Edwards has also been charged in a similar incident at a Michaels craft store, also in Gaithersburg. Police said they are looking for at least two more victims. Anyone who noticed a liquid on their clothes but wrote it off as benign is urged to call 301-258-6400. Edwards is free on bond. He'll be back. Let's see what you've got here... you've got alcohol, fireworks, condoms... and a spray bottle filled with your own genetic material. Let me ask you something-- what were you planning on doing with these things? More uncouth news, utterly beneath the exalted dignity of David Klinghoffer, at The Other McCain. posted by Ace at 01:34 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Paco: "[i]Very good. I added it to other X tweets I have ..." Altaria Pilgram: "New Olympic Event Candidates: Revenge Porn Che ..." Don Black: "They throw spears and hammers at the Limpix law ..." torabora : "Wasn't the Pentathlon patterned after French (Napo ..." LizLem: "Pickleball. 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