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August 04, 2010

The Sperminator: Spree-Spritzer Sporting Spray-Bottle Spunk Splatters Shoppers with Splooge

A one-day pattern-spiller... I hate the weird ones.

A Maryland man is accused of squirting semen from a bottle onto shoppers at two Gaithersburg stores, and police are looking for other potential victims.

Michael Wayne Edwards Jr., 28, has been charged with spraying the fluid on a shopper at a Giant Food store in Gaithersburg on July 15. Police said he got the liquid on a woman and then snapped a photo of what he had done with his cell phone.

Edwards has also been charged in a similar incident at a Michaels craft store, also in Gaithersburg.

Police said they are looking for at least two more victims. Anyone who noticed a liquid on their clothes but wrote it off as benign is urged to call 301-258-6400. Edwards is free on bond.

He'll be back.

chris_hansen_animated.gif
Let's see what you've got here...
you've got alcohol, fireworks, condoms...
and a spray bottle filled with your own
genetic material. Let me ask you something--
what were you planning
on doing with these things?

More uncouth news, utterly beneath the exalted dignity of David Klinghoffer, at The Other McCain.


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posted by Ace at 01:34 PM

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