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August 04, 2010
The Sperminator: Spree-Spritzer Sporting Spray-Bottle Spunk Splatters Shoppers with Splooge
A one-day pattern-spiller... I hate the weird ones.
A Maryland man is accused of squirting semen from a bottle onto shoppers at two Gaithersburg stores, and police are looking for other potential victims.
Michael Wayne Edwards Jr., 28, has been charged with spraying the fluid on a shopper at a Giant Food store in Gaithersburg on July 15. Police said he got the liquid on a woman and then snapped a photo of what he had done with his cell phone.
Edwards has also been charged in a similar incident at a Michaels craft store, also in Gaithersburg.
Police said they are looking for at least two more victims. Anyone who noticed a liquid on their clothes but wrote it off as benign is urged to call 301-258-6400. Edwards is free on bond.
He'll be back.
Let's see what you've got here...
you've got alcohol, fireworks, condoms...
and a spray bottle filled with your own
genetic material. Let me ask you something--
what were you planning
on doing with these things?
More uncouth news, utterly beneath the exalted dignity of David Klinghoffer, at The Other McCain.