Sponsored Content
« Overnight Open Thread | Main | Top Headline Comments 6-10-10 »
June 10, 2010

Thursday Financial Briefing

Er, about that big stock rally on Tuesday...

As nicknames go, the Blog Prophet of Euro Zone Doom has one of the better ones. I've been called many things but I've never been called a prophet. I also find it neat that a self-taught fellow of 61 can make a name for himself purely on the strength of his insight.

Colleges have gone from being instutions of higher learning to being clip joints run by confidence men. (Via Insty.) I hereby pledge that I will never accept a dime from the needy young ladies who come to me for instruction and life-lessons at Monty's Home for Wayward Pole-Dancers. I'm a giver, not a taker.

The great fiscal Götterdämmerung caused by the retirement of the Baby Boomers is well underway. Pretty soon each worker will have his very own elderly person to support. For most wage-earners under the age of 55 or so, "retirement" is going to seem like a rather quaint and old-fashioned concept, like detachable collars, fiscal probity, and sexual modesty.

China will not save us. I've been saying for a long, long time that China's economy is a big fat lie. People keep forgetting that China is still ruled by Communists. It will all end in tears.

Are the feds going to try to nationalize private pensions? To a certain extent that's already happened given the role of the PBGC, but on the other hand the PBGC is bankrupt.

The World Bank noted that the Euro crisis will restrict growth across the continent. British Consulting Detective and social gadfly Mr. Sherlock Holmes, when reached for comment, remarked that he'd considered the whole idea a complete cock-up right from the start. "They should have hired me in the Case of the Missing Financial Rationale for the Euro," he said. When this reporter pointed out that England itself was in dire financial straits, Mr. Holmes mumbled something about being late to a hanging and hurried off.

Stateside, Ben Bernanke assured everyone that the European financial crisis would only have a modest impact on the US hours before the Dow Jones Industrial Average dived on concerns over the European financial crisis.

In the same session, when asked about the recent resurgence of gold, Bernanke responded: "Gold? What is this 'gold' you speak of? It sounds like some made-up word. Gold. It sounds like something an alien would call his dong. Do not mock my Gold, puny Hu-Man! In fact, I think I remember Ron Paul saying that to me one time. I wonder now if he was coming on to me or something. It's kind of freaking me out now that I think about it."

I take my recessions like I take my vanilla cones from Baskin-Robbins: double-dip!

In other news, California is still boned.

Brought to you by Emperor Zod. Kneel before Zod!


digg this
posted by Monty at 07:05 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
BignJames: "I just moved back to SC from Wyoming. Forgot that ..."

Piper : "@Ace from the bottom of my heart, thank you for th ..."

screaming in digital: "About 10 miles back you left a granny still standi ..."

screaming in digital: "I left SC to go to western NY to help a friend cle ..."

bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door : "214 Tonypete, are you in Cleveland for the wife's ..."

Fen: "Wow. That awkward moment when you think you're cle ..."

Diogenes: "Spring was 5:24 EDT....we missed it. Posted by: B ..."

Javems: " I tell ya it was a hell of a show. Posted by: ..."

nurse ratched : "My older brother put 3 Goody powders together and ..."

Tonypete: "Snorted them up his nose and went to choke-puking ..."

BignJames: "Waiting for Spring and getting impatient. You? P ..."

Chatterbox Mouse: "Springtime? I left SC to go to western NY to he ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64