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September 29, 2009

What Crimes May Celebrites Commit, Based on Their Artistic Contributions?

We've begun compiling a list, which I stupidly started on Twitter, though I'd meant to do a post.

Hit "More" at the bottom to see the start of the list. If you click @AceofSpadesHQ in upper right, you can see others contributions.

Here are a few:

Vince Vaughan: Frankly, can get away with a murder or two. Killing a girlfriend is fine. Hasn't made a bad movie. We owe him a murder.

Matthew McConaughey: Can get away with shoplifting a Mars bar, but only a Mars bar, because no one likes that shit anyway.

from Marshall Stack: Tom Cruise can jaywalk on secondary suburban streets.

from Dave in Texas: Vin Diesel: Should be able to transport any live plants he wants to across state lines unmolested.

and

John McTiernan: Zoning ordinances and health code violations.

from liberocky: Ben Stiller can stab a Medal of Honor winner (NOTE: Stab but not kill. He's not that good. -- ace.)

Metallica: May gang-rape choice of 1) two of-age groupies; 2) one underage groupie; or 3) Winger.


Robert Downey Jr.: Can go back to smack. Also, might be able to punch a pregnant woman in the face, depending on Iron Man 2's grosses.

Adam Sandler: May urinate on three elderly women.

So that's the gag.


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posted by Ace at 10:02 PM

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