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August 24, 2009

Overnight Open Thread A New Hope -(genghis)

Thanks to Maet for only doing substantial damage to the ONT in my absence rather than utterly destroying it. What did you people do to him anyway? According to people whove seen him in person, all he does now is sit in a corner with his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth and not responding to external stimuli. Hes also got a pronounced facial tic but Im told that may have been a pre-existing condition. Its a shame, but ONT is not for the weak, faint-hearted or sober.

Heres a couple of semi-related items for ya. Stick with me here: If you follow the first one it might improve your chances of attaining the second one.

Item number one: Here in the lovely Evergreen State (motto: why does this place seem to be the national epicenter for weirdness?) has been opened a new treatment center for cyber junkies.

The first US retreat for internet addicts has opened its doors, welcoming a teenager that was captive to the World of Warcraft online role-playing videogame. The 19-year-old boy went from pursuing quests in Azeroth to bottle-feeding baby goats and building a chicken coop as part of a reStart Internet Addiction Recovery Program at a rural five-acre spread in the state of Washington. "We are a cold-turkey place; no technology," reStart psychotherapist Hilarie Cash said.

The retreat has beds for six patients. A 45-day stay costs $14,500 plus cash for daily expenses such as renting camping gear for wilderness adventures. It also treats internet addicts as out-patients, with typical patients ranging from 18 to 28-years-old with "extensive exposure to porn, but not much to sex".


Why this company isnt our primary advertiser Ill never understand. Its the perfect target audience and now that the lace wig people have pulled their spots we need a new revenue stream.

The reStart rehab program includes teaching skills such as starting conversations and reading body language. Videogame addicts and ONT commenters typically need to be reprogrammed to be conscientious about everyday tasks such as bathing, cooking, and household chores, according to reStart. They also need tutoring when it comes to dating."

Item number two: Its entirely possible that the previous paragraph was edited in some way. But the ONT always seeks to be helpful, and while we cant really provide any practical advice concerning personal hygiene and/or household chores, we can at least try to help you out on the dating front by providing an MRI-eye view of nature taking its course. I suppose its safe for work but be warned: the participants are Scandis, so try to overcome your revulsion at the thought.

Thanks (I think) to Phil the News Junkie who also has numerous sexy pics of nekkid cellphones on his blog along with international beauty pageant contestants that may or may not have silicone additives.



Concerning kittehs:

There were a number of complaints about all the kittehs last week. Many of you asked: Why would you subject us to kittens only when there are so many other cuddly critters that kittens interact with on a daily basis? Well, your whining has paid off, as illustrated below, kitteh haterz.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

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posted by xgenghisx at 09:40 PM

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