Sponsored Content
On The Day Obama Decides To Investigate CIA Operatives, He Sets Another Terrorist Free | Main | Top Headline Comments 08-25-09
August 24, 2009

Overnight Open Thread A New Hope -(genghis)

Thanks to Maet for only doing substantial damage to the ONT in my absence rather than utterly destroying it. What did you people do to him anyway? According to people whove seen him in person, all he does now is sit in a corner with his knees up to his chest, rocking back and forth and not responding to external stimuli. Hes also got a pronounced facial tic but Im told that may have been a pre-existing condition. Its a shame, but ONT is not for the weak, faint-hearted or sober.

Heres a couple of semi-related items for ya. Stick with me here: If you follow the first one it might improve your chances of attaining the second one.

Item number one: Here in the lovely Evergreen State (motto: why does this place seem to be the national epicenter for weirdness?) has been opened a new treatment center for cyber junkies.

The first US retreat for internet addicts has opened its doors, welcoming a teenager that was captive to the World of Warcraft online role-playing videogame. The 19-year-old boy went from pursuing quests in Azeroth to bottle-feeding baby goats and building a chicken coop as part of a reStart Internet Addiction Recovery Program at a rural five-acre spread in the state of Washington. "We are a cold-turkey place; no technology," reStart psychotherapist Hilarie Cash said.

The retreat has beds for six patients. A 45-day stay costs $14,500 plus cash for daily expenses such as renting camping gear for wilderness adventures. It also treats internet addicts as out-patients, with typical patients ranging from 18 to 28-years-old with "extensive exposure to porn, but not much to sex".

Why this company isnt our primary advertiser Ill never understand. Its the perfect target audience and now that the lace wig people have pulled their spots we need a new revenue stream.

The reStart rehab program includes teaching skills such as starting conversations and reading body language. Videogame addicts and ONT commenters typically need to be reprogrammed to be conscientious about everyday tasks such as bathing, cooking, and household chores, according to reStart. They also need tutoring when it comes to dating."

Item number two: Its entirely possible that the previous paragraph was edited in some way. But the ONT always seeks to be helpful, and while we cant really provide any practical advice concerning personal hygiene and/or household chores, we can at least try to help you out on the dating front by providing an MRI-eye view of nature taking its course. I suppose its safe for work but be warned: the participants are Scandis, so try to overcome your revulsion at the thought.

Thanks (I think) to Phil the News Junkie who also has numerous sexy pics of nekkid cellphones on his blog along with international beauty pageant contestants that may or may not have silicone additives.

Concerning kittehs:

There were a number of complaints about all the kittehs last week. Many of you asked: Why would you subject us to kittens only when there are so many other cuddly critters that kittens interact with on a daily basis? Well, your whining has paid off, as illustrated below, kitteh haterz.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.

digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 09:40 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
TecumsehTea: " wolfus, I'm going to look for that other short s ..."

Brave Sir Robin: "I tried going back to church today. It still sucke ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: "On the topic of dystopian novels, I will mention a ..."

Patrick From Ohio: "On our Drive back from vacation we started listeni ..."

Gorgeous brainy woman with a love of literature: "And I had this all ready for him.' "Me too!" ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: " This week I read Five Years After by William R. ..."

Castle Guy: "273 Also this week I finally installed another boo ..."

gourmand du jour: "OK, I'm off! Thanks Perfesser! ..."

BurtTC: "Which I'm never going to do. I don't see that as a ..."

Sharon(willow's apprentice): "Thanks Perfessor for an entertaining morning. Stil ..."

OrangeEnt: "I thought the same about Michael Biehn of Terminat ..."

gourmand du jour: "Day 1, I didn't write anything today... Day 2, ag ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64