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June 26, 2009


This week seem long to you? Seemed dreadfully long here.

Friday is always a good day to completely drop the ball at work and set yourself up for a terrible Monday. Fuckitall, it's Friday.

You know how it goes.

You look at the calls you have to make, and work you have to do, and set up your day. Perhaps you even create a snappy little list of priorities, all set off with bullet points. You little goody-frickin'-two-shoes-go-getter, you.

Then you sharpen some pencils and clean your telephone. Then you throw your very sharp pencils into a ceiling tile.

Then you sneak out at lunchtime, rolling a tiny live hallucinogenic toad around in your mouth like a wriggly, bitter gummy bear.

Pretty soon you leave a vaseline-print of your ass on the boss' windshield (while he's actually sitting in his car), and then hide in the woods behind a preschool with a bottle of Jack Daniels, shooting at chipmunks with a deer rifle, causing the school to be shut down and subsequently leading the police on a three-state car chase that ends peacefully with you getting tased in the neck and losing your bowels.

Blah, blah, you know all this already. Routine, right?

What do you Morons have planned for this weekend?

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posted by Laura. at 03:39 PM

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