Monica Conyers Pleads Guity to Taking Bribes for City Contracts; Supposedly Faces Up to Three Years, But We All Know That's Not Going To Happen | Main | Iranian Thugs Force Neda's Father to Appear on TV and Claim Other Protesters, Not the Regime, Killed Her
June 26, 2009

FiAF

This week seem long to you? Seemed dreadfully long here.

Friday is always a good day to completely drop the ball at work and set yourself up for a terrible Monday. Fuckitall, it's Friday.

You know how it goes.

You look at the calls you have to make, and work you have to do, and set up your day. Perhaps you even create a snappy little list of priorities, all set off with bullet points. You little goody-frickin'-two-shoes-go-getter, you.

Then you sharpen some pencils and clean your telephone. Then you throw your very sharp pencils into a ceiling tile.

Then you sneak out at lunchtime, rolling a tiny live hallucinogenic toad around in your mouth like a wriggly, bitter gummy bear.

Pretty soon you leave a vaseline-print of your ass on the boss' windshield (while he's actually sitting in his car), and then hide in the woods behind a preschool with a bottle of Jack Daniels, shooting at chipmunks with a deer rifle, causing the school to be shut down and subsequently leading the police on a three-state car chase that ends peacefully with you getting tased in the neck and losing your bowels.

Blah, blah, you know all this already. Routine, right?

What do you Morons have planned for this weekend?


digg this
posted by LauraW. at 03:39 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet: "Dear Santa - This year, I've been very good, for s ..."

Bear with Assymetrical Balls: "I still have my Charlie Brown Christmas LP from wh ..."

Miklos, not from Fusion anything: "Oh Lord. Now Palp has another fundraising oppor ..."

Cicero (@cicero): "We have all these eucalyptus trees in CA through t ..."

JAS: "OK shitheads. Here is the story of eucalyptus in ..."

no good deed : "I like the "they say" it translates to Caucasian. ..."

logprof: "Wow, a Herman Cain sighting. ..."

Northernlurker : "Stop with the mariaci music. ..."

ALH: "The news showed film of the California wild fires. ..."

Blanco Basura - It's OK, I'm with the banned: "[i]Middlin'. How are you?[/i]Sick, but better the ..."

Cicero (@cicero): "Is this the ONT? Like Shep Smith's sexuality, the ..."

logprof: "Mark Knopfler himself has self edited that song. S ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64