« Noted Fan of the Feminine Form Perez Hilton Says He Wants Beauty Pageant Contestants to Dodge His Questions
I Wish I'd Called Her C--- Rather Than a B----, Hilton Regrets | Main | BREAKING: Acting CFO of Freddie Mac found dead at his home, apparently of suicide. More to come. »

Overnight Open Thread: Ministry of Silly Links (genghis)

For some reason all the lace wig spam has disappeared. I blame all of you for not buying more of them. Now all we get is boring shoe spam. If the wigs come back remember this new requirement: “The morons get lace wigs!”

Item#1: More nanny state for you: Under a proposal by NYC councilnag Eric N. Gioia, new fast-food joints would be prohibited from opening within 1/10th of a mile from schools. (sorry, link is to the NYT, but you’ll live. Content squished to save space as always)

”Just in from the department of not-so-surprising news: a study has found that young teenagers tend to be fatter when there are fast-food restaurants within one block of their schools. The report found an increased obesity rate of at least 5.2 percent among teenagers at schools where fast-food outlets were a tenth of a mile — roughly one city block — or less away. To remedy that, Eric N. Gioia, a city councilman from Queens, wants to stop fast-food restaurants from opening so close to the city’s schools.“With the proliferation of fast-food restaurants directly around schools, it’s a clear and present danger to our children’s health,” said Mr. Gioia, who proposed the ban at a news conference at a school opposite a McDonald’s in TriBeCa on Sunday.”

I haven’t read the actual proposal, but you can call practically anything a school (beauty school for instance), so I wonder what the parameters are. Lot’s of fun hyperbole in the article. Thanks to Barry who’s also penned a nice piece of satire at “Room Eight” titled A trip to New York City’s Culinary Red Light District.

Item #2: I posted a thing about the “myths of Columbine” a couple of days ago, but CNN has weighed in with an article of their own. Due to the previous post, it’s a little redundant, but the opening is irritating:

(CNN) – “What do you remember about April 20, 1999? If you recall that two unpopular teenage boys from the Trench Coat Mafia sought revenge against the jocks by shooting up Columbine High School, you're wrong. But you're not alone.”

Well if we’re wrong, I wonder how that could’ve happened? Could it be that for days on end after the massacre we were subjected to endless stories, panel discussions, interviews etc. that did nothing but reinforce the “bullied kids” theme” along with several others that have also turned out to be wrong? (Or to paraphrase a line from “Animal House:” Forget it man, he’s on a narrative.”)

More mayhem and hijinks (including tonight’s freakish animal sponsor) below the fold:

Item #3: Let’s lighten the mood with some advice for the lovelorn, also from CNN. The subject is “Don’t Let Dating Dry Spell Turn Desperate.” The advice columnist apparently knows of what she speaks, but also telegraphs to any future boyfriend that she’s somewhat batshit crazy. And then there’s this nugget:

“2. Fixating on the wildly inappropriate: Prior to my Enormously Huge and All-Consuming Breakup"!, my gaydar had become a finely-tuned instrument. Never once had it let me down; in fact, sometimes it was a little overzealous, and I was forced to break the news to boys who hadn't realized yet where their proclivities were headed. But after EHACB, my gaydar went on the fritz. Big time. Luckily, the objects of my affection managed to make things clear before anything embarrassing happened, but there were a couple close calls.”

Yep. Nothing quite perks up a relationship more than when the object of your affection decides to “help” you out of the closet. On the other hand, maybe we owe her a hearty “thank you.” After all, for each one she convinces to switch teams, that only improves our chances. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself).

Item #4: Finally, posted at Phil the News Junkie’s place is a video showing you a new way to have fun around railroad tracks. Compare and contrast with the "highway scene" from “The Program.”

Tonight’s open thread is sponsored by the Myzapoda, (a.k.a. the “Sucker-Footed Bat.”)

Good Gawd! As if regular-footed bats aren’t bad enough as it is.

Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Please e-mail overnight open thread tips to xgenghisx@gmail.com. Otherwise send tips to Ace.