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April 17, 2009

"Look At This Fucking Hipster"

Hipsters really, really annoy me. I could easily go all George Will on them.

Can you blame me?From a site called Look At This Fucking Hipster.


I mean, seriously: Look at this fucking hipster. His mustache says "Ironic Jeff Foxworthy" and his fucking mullet-hair says "Pre-Op Alanis Morissette Female Impersonator."

That sweater and precious collar are practically a billboard reading Hit me in the kidneys with a pipe-wrench until you induce complete renal shut-down.

It's ironic. It's meta. It's an open invitation to "ironically" go psycho-chimp on their faces with a "meta" clawhammer.

I was in Williamsburg, NYC, one time scouting apartments. It's hipster central. As I'm walking down the street, I see some fucking hipster dressed in full Music Man Olde Time Marchin' Band regalia, black with glittery gold buttons and epaulets, and super-tailored so I could not only tell what religion he was, but also the specific denomination.

Okay, whatever: Freak. Something you don't see every day, but nothing I'm going to get too upset about.

As I'm leaving the place -- which was awful -- I see another fucking hipster dressed like a bi-curious Sgt Pepper, this one in a fire-truck red marching band outfit (with super-tight, super-skinny leggings) and a big blue furry fucking hat, like they wear at Fred Flintstone's Water Buffalo meetings.

So I saw two of these fuckers within an hour. It wasn't a freak thing -- it was a trend.

So, yeah: Look at these fucking hipsters. Look well upon them, for they are the harbingers of the Beast.

Thanks to dan-O.

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posted by Ace at 03:04 PM

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