Beware Romulans Klingons Bearing Gifts!

If you are a sophisticated connoisseur of the motion pictures arts, you will have no idea where the above, slightly altered quote comes from.

If, however, you are a lowbrow Mongoloid conservative* like myself, you will be instantly aware that in "Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan" that sage advice is given to Admiral James Kirk by Doctor Leonard McCoy.

Why do I bring up a passage from a 27 year old movie?

Because it's the first thing I thought of when I read this account of the classless way in which our current First Lady/Bird of Prey Weapons Officer treated her English counterpart.

Like all good guests, Sarah Brown arrived bearing gifts for the children, Malia and Sasha. And they were really nice presents. A bit of thought had clearly gone into choosing them: Top Shop dresses (with matching necklaces) and a selection of books by British authors. Lovely.

Mrs Brown may have two boys but she certainly knows the way to a little girl’s heart. These were gifts chosen in the true spirit of present-giving: to please the recipient, not the giver.

In return Mrs Obama gave the Brown children, Fraser and John, two toy models of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter. Fair enough on the helicopter part, always a popular choice with small boys; but Marine One? It’s not as though anyone needs reminding that Barack Obama is President or that he has his own helicopter. Short of giving the boys Action Man models of her own husband smiting the evil forces of neoconservatism, Mrs Obama’s gesture could not have been more solipsistic or more inherently dismissive of Mrs Brown.

Yes, nothing builds on diplomatic friendships like giving out narcissistic, self-aggrandizing gifts. What's the matter, ME-chelle, all out of autographed photos of the ME-ssiah?

Or maybe you are just following Blago's advice. After all, a presidential gift is a f'n valuable thing! You just don't give something like that away for nothing, do ya?

In any event, I suppose the Brown's children got off lucky. I have it on good authority that ME-chelle's original idea was to present them with the smoking entrails of several slain Ferengei who had dared question the wisdom of raising taxes during a recession.

*Used in the Dreherian sense.

UPDATE: The White House Gift Shop sells a "Marine One Playset" for $15.

A Marine One Playset? $15

Two Marine One playsets? $30

Humiliating your closest ally? Priceless.

Thanks to Druid and Buck Naked for the Gift Shop tips.

posted by Jack M. at 12:28 AM

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