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February 24, 2009

LA Times Pretends to be Your Friend

*entry should be read while humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" to get the full effect*

Yeah, now that newspaper stocks are about as valuable as those stocks in buggy-whip companies your great-grandfather invested all his money into, it's a sure thing that we'll be seeing more of this. Leftist reporters pretending to be interested in "flyover issues" like tax cuts, taking Marxist indoctrination out of public schools, and bacon.

I for one, encourage you to resist their advances. Get all your bacon-related updates from people who agree with your political opinions and let these pretenders go on their merry way into the dustbin of history. If you encourage them to reach out, before you know it they'll have entire sections of their paper devoted to naked pandering towards NASCAR, religious issues, "how to" guides to lighting flatulence without igniting any of your clothing, and selecting the right firearm to defend your home and family.

I know I can count on you, because there are approximately 98 and a half hours remaining until the commencement of the "Second Annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival" in Des Moines, Iowa, which shall be covered by yours truly. Tell the LA Times to stick to what they do best (misquoting interview subjects and taking cheap shots at Patterico?) and LEAVE. OUR. BACON. ALONE.

(thanks to reader Murph for the hot tip)


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posted by Russ from Winterset at 08:27 AM

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