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February 10, 2009

Pork Orgy on Capitol Hill

I got some tremendous news on the business side of my world today and took off to walk off some of the energy. I made the mistake of taking my usual route around the Capitol and was met with one of the most grotesque sights I have ever witnessed.

There was a pork orgy of Caligulesque proportions going on as every scumbag, Brooks Brothers suit-wearing lobbyist, every interest group that could cobble together four letters to make an acronym, every left wing butthead asshole cause in the world was shoveling America's future out the door of that place at warp fucking speed.

There were lines dozens deep trying to get their fat noses inside to sup at the trough of what used to be America's future. They had placards and matching t-shirts, they were all smiling and slapping each other on the back as they stole our fucking prosperity. I went from the bliss that the possibility of riches for me and mine gives to the despair of knowing the weasels were stealing more than I could make right before my goddamn eyes.

I'm not joking about the causes, they were herding a passel of blind folks in, followed by Indians in vests (feather not dot) trailed by the trans-gendered, organic emu farming coalition. BASTARDS!

All I could think of was the phrase, when the Nazis and Communists fight you don't pick sides, you call in an airstrike. These fucks are lucky I am a pacifist now. Everywhere I turned were more greedy douchebags hauling satchels of promissory notes out in garbage bags. I feel sick. Ahhh that's better, hey where is my hobo-bashing stick or wait I should try out that sword from yesterday's video. Hobo Shish-kabob...bliss.

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posted by Uncle Jimbo at 02:16 PM

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