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January 14, 2009

Man Sells Teenage Daughter into Marriage for Cash, Beer, Meat and…Gatorade? (And you can haz overnight open thread in case no one else fashions one out of macrame) (genghis)

Well, I can certainly understand the first three items, but Gatorade?

So only 13 days into the Age of Obama, we already have a frontrunner for “Father of the Year.” According to this story from California:

”(CNN) -- A California man sold his 14-year-old daughter to an 18-year-old man for cash, beer and meat -- then called police when the prospective bridegroom didn't live up to his end of the deal, authorities said Tuesday.”

“Marcelino de Jesus Martinez, 36, of Greenfield, California, was arrested Monday and booked into the Monterey County Jail, Greenfield police said in a statement. He faces felony charges of receiving money for causing a person to cohabitate, police said.”


Causing a person to cohabitate is against the law? *sigh* I did not know that. Well, the people chained up in my basement will be happy to hear that, now that I have to free them. And they were such hard workers. Also, there's probably no reason to go into the issue about calling the cops when something like this goes wrong since it's so common these days: "I was trying to score some heroin/hooker/yellow-cake uranium and dude ripped me off!" We've all seen the stories, or been personally involved in them. But back to the story:
”Martinez had arranged through a third party to have his daughter marry the older teenager, identified by authorities as Margarito de Jesus Galindo, of Gonzales, California. In exchange, Galindo was to pay Martinez $16,000 and provide him with 160 cases of beer, 100 cases of soda, 50 cases of Gatorade, two cases of wine, and six cases of meat, Greenfield Police Chief Joe Grebmeier told CNN.

Again, I can understand most of this grocery list, but the Gatorade? That’s just simply wrong.

New ad slogan: ”Now more than just a source for essential electrolytes, but also a primary component of your under-aged daughter’s pre-arranged marriage contract!"

(Pre-emptive disclaimer since I know someone will freak out about making fun of this story...yes, it's very sad and wrong. And we all feel bad about the fate of the girl.)yes


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posted by xgenghisx at 12:36 AM

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