« Smartest Woman in the Room Says We'll Work "Smarter, Not Harder" | Main | Top Headline Comments 01-14-09 »
January 14, 2009

Man Sells Teenage Daughter into Marriage for Cash, Beer, Meat and…Gatorade? (And you can haz overnight open thread in case no one else fashions one out of macrame) (genghis)

Well, I can certainly understand the first three items, but Gatorade?

So only 13 days into the Age of Obama, we already have a frontrunner for “Father of the Year.” According to this story from California:

”(CNN) -- A California man sold his 14-year-old daughter to an 18-year-old man for cash, beer and meat -- then called police when the prospective bridegroom didn't live up to his end of the deal, authorities said Tuesday.”

“Marcelino de Jesus Martinez, 36, of Greenfield, California, was arrested Monday and booked into the Monterey County Jail, Greenfield police said in a statement. He faces felony charges of receiving money for causing a person to cohabitate, police said.”


Causing a person to cohabitate is against the law? *sigh* I did not know that. Well, the people chained up in my basement will be happy to hear that, now that I have to free them. And they were such hard workers. Also, there's probably no reason to go into the issue about calling the cops when something like this goes wrong since it's so common these days: "I was trying to score some heroin/hooker/yellow-cake uranium and dude ripped me off!" We've all seen the stories, or been personally involved in them. But back to the story:
”Martinez had arranged through a third party to have his daughter marry the older teenager, identified by authorities as Margarito de Jesus Galindo, of Gonzales, California. In exchange, Galindo was to pay Martinez $16,000 and provide him with 160 cases of beer, 100 cases of soda, 50 cases of Gatorade, two cases of wine, and six cases of meat, Greenfield Police Chief Joe Grebmeier told CNN.

Again, I can understand most of this grocery list, but the Gatorade? That’s just simply wrong.

New ad slogan: ”Now more than just a source for essential electrolytes, but also a primary component of your under-aged daughter’s pre-arranged marriage contract!"

(Pre-emptive disclaimer since I know someone will freak out about making fun of this story...yes, it's very sad and wrong. And we all feel bad about the fate of the girl.)yes


digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 12:36 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Count de Monet: "Damn. Nolan Ryan's a fat, bald, old guy! Posted ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "Falling Down is a terrific movie. Great acting by ..."

Robin Ventura: "[i]Damn. Nolan Ryan's a fat, bald, old guy! Pos ..."

Duke of Righteous WTF?: "A movie with a hidden baseball theme is "Cannery R ..."

Anna Puma (HQCaR): "You have seen they have remade [i]Flatliners[/i], ..."

tcn in AK: "Yes, the damn Yankees must lose. And then the Astr ..."

mnw: "She looked damn good in Pretty Baby. Anybody who ..."

scrood: "Wait a minute.  When did Morons get picky abo ..."

Ashley Judd's Puffy Scamper, aka MrCaniac: "Not crazy about Sarandon, but she was smoking hot ..."

Deplorable Ian Galt, still loving the Cubs, trying not to jinx the Asstros: "One fascinating little documentary I saw on Netfli ..."

logprof: "576 Jacob's Ladder was really good, I agree. Incre ..."

Christopher R Taylor: "[i]And Mario van Peebles needed his screen-time cu ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64