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December 01, 2008

ABC Roasts Bush for "Hypocritcal Charade" of Pardoning a Turkey, Then Eating a Turkey

As MattM. says, they've simply lost their minds.

After pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey in a public display of mercy Wednesday, President Bush will be served turkey as part of his holiday meal. Critics call the practice a "charade."

Questioned about the apparent hypocrisy of the practice, White House spokesman Scott Stanzel was unruffled. "You should try your hand at open mic night at the Laugh Factory," said Stanzel. He promised he would attend the performance.

A spokesman for president-elect Barack Obama declined to comment on the matter.

The back-to-back Presidential turkey saving/turkey eating has been going on since at least 1947, when then-president Harry Truman held the first modern-day White House turkey pardoning.

In a morning ceremony at the White House Wednesday, Bush granted a "full and unconditional" pardon to Pumpkin the turkey, as well as to an alternate bird name Pecan. The White House declined to release the names and photographs of the turkeys that will be served at Thursday's feast. Neither did it share information on how they would be prepared.

In previous years, the president's chefs have roasted the birds, according to a review of White House records.

In his comments at the public pardoning, Bush said both Pumpkin and Pecan will receive first-class trips to California, where Pumpkin will serve as the grand marshal of the Thanksgiving Day parade at Disneyland. However, the White House web site indicates only Pumpkin would make the trip. It does not disclose the fate of the second bird. The White House declined to comment on the matter Wednesday.

Um, see, it is a "charade." Or, more accurately, a long-running traditional joke. Turkeys really can't be "pardoned," as they've committed no crime, except for being delicious.

See? We're pretending these turkeys are prisoners on death row and the president "pardons" one. It's not really "hypocritical" because no one is expected to be fooled by this "charade." Bush is not trying to dishonestly portray himself as the Liberator of Turkeys, idiots. He's not calling for the end of the Great Annual Turkey Genocide.


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posted by Ace at 01:43 PM

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