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October 14, 2008

Official Ace of Spades HQ Endorsement: Barack Obama for President

He seems like a really awesome guy, a rara avis, which is I think a precious Latin way to say "rare bird." As a fellow erudite, on the ball fellow, I endorse him, because really, he's awesome and all like I said earlier, and also Sarah Palin is not nearly as qualified as lifelong dullard Joe Biden ("lifelong dullard" is a Latinate phase meaning "crafty statesman") and furthermore I am worried that Sarah Palin will continue faking pregnancies if she becomes President, like if there's a major foreign crisis, Bam!, out comes the fat suit, and she tries to tell people to go away because her water's breaking as she hides beneath the Resolute Desk.

And incidentally-- who's funding those fat suits, anyway?

In addition, I think it is despicably, unforgivably racist to attempt to "link" someone to their close associates, mentors, and political allies. And pastors.

And wives.

And their stated policies, for that matter. And their clearly announced, videotaped statements.

What, did I just wake up in the Jim Crow south? It's a high-tech lynching, for goodness sakes.

So here is my official endorsement.

Incidentally, and this is utterly unrelated and I don't know why I think to mention it now, but I have a really good screenplay, could easily gross $300 million, and so I'm just mentioning that even in this post, you know, for shits and giggles, but in case anyone connected with the industry is reading, hey, give me a call, let's do lunch and get into bed and all those cliches from the eighties.

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posted by Ace at 07:05 PM

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