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September 11, 2008

Matt Damon, Genius
The Website that Created The "Sarah Palin Quotes" Even Identified Them as Parodies That Had Been Made Up
Very Smart Sophisticate Fell for the Obvious Goof, Too

Matt Damon wants to know if Sarah Palin believed dinosaurs lived 4000 years ago.

The source for this absurd claim?

This. An utterly absurd viral email, supposedly containing "real quotes" from an Anchorage newspaper... but notice -- No links! No actual citation to anything appearing in real newspaper!

Also noted these quotes are positively absurd. I believe they were first written as a pure parody (dinosaurs are... "lizards of Satan"? Really?), but of course the reality-based community adherents of the community-based reality has accepted them uncritically as "real."

How absurd is this? Do these sound like real quotes, or parodies?

And yet Matt Damon, Genius, thinks we ought to trust his judgment as to who the next President and Vice President should be.

Skip down to the bold for the dinosaur "quote."

Below are some actual quotes by Governor Palin during a series of interviews by the Anchorage Daily News in 2006 when she was running for Governor...

On Creationism:
The simple yet elegantly awkward moose proves God's creation and not evolution is the source of all life. How could something as oddly shaped and silly looking as a moose evolve through so-called "natural selection?" Is evolution a committee? There is nothing natural about a dorky moose! Only God could have made a moose and given it huge antlers to fight off his predatory enemies. God has a well known sense of humor, I mean He made the platypus too.

On oil exploration and drilling in the ANWR:
God made dinosaurs 4,000 years ago as ultimately flawed creatures, lizards of Satan really, so when they died and became petroleum products we, made in his perfect image, could use them in our pickup trucks, snow machines and fishing boats.

Now, as to the ANWR, Todd and I often enjoying caribou hunting and one year we shot up a herd big time, I mean I personally slaughtered around 40 of them with my new, at the time, custom Austri an hunting rifle. And guess what? That caribou herd is still around and even bigger than ever. Caribou herds actually need culling, be it by rifles or wolves, or Exxon-Mobil oil rigs, they do just great!

On Alaskans serving overseas in Iraq:
Well, God bless them, and I mean God and Jesus because without Jesus we'd be Muslims too or Jewish, which would be a little better because of the superior Israeli Air Force.

Thanks to BostonIrish for reminding me I wanted to cover this.

Note... The title of this post-- "FAKE Sarah Palin Quote" -- and the disclaimer at the end -- "She didn't really say these things -- I made them up. But thanks for all the visits."

But even if you don't go searching for the original source, isn't kind of fucking obvious this is a goddamned fucking parody?

Matt Damon!

Are They This Stupid? You think they'd have learned the simple proposition that one should check uncited claims made in internet emails before parroting them. Do they not remember Barbra Streisand's quote of "Shakespeare" warning us all not to vote for Bush?

CNN Debunked This Absurdity, As If It Weren't So Transparently a Parody That it Needed Debunking In the First Place, Two Days Ago: Speaking to the blogger directly.

Matt Damon thinks everything he reads on the internet is real. Think about that.

He must purchase a lot of miracle penis-growth vitamins.

Not Only Is this Obviously a Joke... But it's a variation on an old joke. Some years back, Jimmy Fallon, on SNL's Weekend Update, cracked a joke that a state would allow teaching evolution, but only if the curriculum called dinosaurs "Jesus horses."

Hilarious. I've quoted that before.

This blogger did a variation of that joke (no offense -- it's not theft if you change it up, and kudos to that blogger for having the taste to recognize a great joke when he or she heard it).

The point is, it's a fucking joke. It's a goof. It's obviously a goof. The line comes directly from an SNL punchline (well, slightly retrofitted and with the factory serial number filed off).

But this genius, Matt Damon, who spends his off hours splitting atoms... with his mind, couldn't recognize an obvious (and old) joke for what it was.

For him, it wasn't a joke.

It was an Important Action Alert and Pretty Vicious Rant.

And Maureen Dowd, Too! Obviously Sarah Palin doesn't stack up to MoDo's level of scary-intelligence.

All Too Real:

from someone.

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