International Diplomacy if Paul McCartney were Secretary of State

If, like me, you often find yourself wondering "Just how would Paul McCartney handle a situation like Russia's ongoing aggression in Georgia?" then this is the post for you.

For while it is easy to dismiss Sir Paul as a light thinker, more eager to talk about the creative benefits of marijuana than of Global Realpolitik, I can assure you that such a notion is misguided.

After all, as a member of the Beatles, Macca demonstrated that he did, indeed, possess the kind of Foreign Policy acumen that directs the outcomes of internation affairs on a daily basis.

As evidence, I give you the chorus to the Beatles' classic track "Back in the USSR." Written by McCartney in 1968, I would suggest it offers a clear view of the ongoing crisis that is applicable even today.

So how would the fabbest of the fab four approach the problem? Like so:

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out

They leave the west behind

And Moscow girls make me sing and shout

That Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind

So, applying the McCartney Doctrine to the present situation:

Ukraine is pretty awesome because they have hot chicks that make European and American women look like girls. Score one for Julia Tymoshenko and the Orange revolution!

Sadly, however, it would appear that for all the hot chicks in the Ukraine, the Chicks in Moscow are even hotter. Applying the McCartney Doctrine, then, allows Putin to steamroll Kiev. Think of it as natural selection. Of the hot.

Ultimately, however, it is Georgia that never leaves Macca's mind. Undoubtedly the women of Tbilisi must, then, be the ultimate in "keeping their comrades warm."

So, a further application of the McCartney Doctrine would ensure granting Georgia immediate NATO membership, weapons, and tactical and logistical support to protect their most important assets from defilement by the Russian Bear.

To sum up: Georgia > Russian > Ukraine.

Is it a perfect doctrine? Not hardly.

But did it give me an excuse to link a photo of Julia Tymoshenko? Yeah, yeah, yeah!

And, that, my friends, if really what this whole post was all about.

posted by Jack M. at 05:22 PM

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