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August 13, 2008

Claim: New Ultra-Precise Airborn Advanced Tactical Laser Will Allow Pinpoint Hits With "Plausible Deniability"

It even has a "set to stun" sort of mode, allowing its gunners to decide whether to wipe a vehicle out, or merely melt its tires, or somewhere in between.


Artist's conception of the precise timing and vectors
of the back-to-back orgasms I just had.

Problems with "plausible deniability:"

1) When trucks and people start melting for no apparent reason, people are going to probably suspect a laser.

2) If you intend the weapon to give you plausible deniability for secret laser blasts, you probably shouldn't announce, "Hey, check this cool shit out! We have an invisible high-powered laser letting us melt a bitch with plausible deniability!"

That said, it's awesome. The ability to fly a plane into an enemy's airspace and simply begin vaporizing all the thugs and clerics and other assorted assholes who are causing all the problems in the first place will be... quite special, when it arrives. The real super weapon would be some kind of airborne Stroke Gun or Seizure Cannon that somehow fries brain-circuitry in a non-obvious way.

Thanks to DrewM.


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posted by Ace at 05:56 PM

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