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August 07, 2008

AoSHQ Retains Crown as "Most Profane Conservative Blog": WE'RE #1! WE'RE #1! WE'RE #1!

I seem to remember this story making news last year, and maybe even the year before. As if you didn't know it already, you muthafuckas who comment at the AoSHQ have the goddamn filthiest vocabularies on the conservative side of the Blogosphere. How do I know this? Because someone wrote an article and posted it on the internet.

Hey, if reading something on a website is good enough for the NY Times to wind up the smear machinery, then it's good enough for me to confirm what I already knew - that I ain't exactly comfortable sending my Mom over here to read my work. Shockingly, my wife tells me that my Sister has come over here to read my rants, which sort of keeps me more subdued than I would be otherwise. Not that I can't swear in front of my sister, but I try to stay away from "some of the combinations with a higher degree of difficulty", ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo. She probably wouldn't blush to hear me say "Shit, Obama is a complete douchetool", but if I were to "explore the studio space" with more creative combinations, that could make for uncomfortable silences at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Anyway, enough about me: This post is about all you Moose-fucking Ass Spelunkers and how you're valiantly fighting to keep the political right from falling victim to a "cocksucker gap". I'm sure that if we set our minds to it, the readership at Ace's could increase our profanity content by a factor of two or three over the closest competitor from the right. We'll never catch a site like Firedoglake (hell, Jane Hamsher ALONE is responsible for 19.3% of ALL profanity on the internet herself), but we CAN reinforce our position as the Foremost Pottymouths of the American Right. Let's not make Ace do it all by himself, people. It's no wonder that he's making himself so sick, what with trying to coarsen the whole right side of the blogosphere all by himself.

After all, like that great Patriot Thomas Jefferson once said, "At times, my Garden of Liberty requires that some Buttfucking ugly-assed English Motherfuckers have a Cap busted in their Asses in order for it to grow like a mofo."

(I think he dictated that to Sally Hemmings during a "key party" at the Boston Hooters, but my American History is a little rusty, so corrections are appreciated)

Share your best profanity combinations in the comments, or decry the coarsening of American culture if that's your thing.


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posted by Russ from Winterset at 04:20 PM

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