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August 01, 2008

As True Now As It Was Then: 1943 Guide to Handling Female Employees Filled With Sexism and Wisdom, But Mostly Wisdom

The authors disagree about the mid-eighties corporate-hiring mantra "No Fat Chicks," it should be noted.

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters: they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, and they still have the interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never been in contact with the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls — those who are just a little on the heavy side — are more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a doctor to give each woman you hire a special physical examination. This step not only protects the property against the possibility of a lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses that would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

...

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that she will keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work for themselves.

...

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowance for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Make sure you divide the burdens of your Executive Rape Privileges' among women of varying ethnicities and social classes; not only does this insure that this aspect of female labor is fairly divided among all the staff, but your various victims of forcible sodomy will appreciate your devotion to the ideals of tolerance and inclusiveness, even if the idea of sex with a greasy she-Wop or fish-breath Dagoess turns your stomach, as of course it does.

I may have added that last one.

Thanks to Op-For.


And Hey: No fair Italians or Catholics complaining about number 9. The document is from 1943; I had to go Old School with my racism and religious bigotry.

And besides, there just aren't enough Anti-Papistry slurs these days.


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posted by Ace at 06:38 PM

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