See What This Does | Main | World's Twenty Deadliest Plants
July 04, 2008

Joey FTW

Chestnut keeps his throne.

Joey Chestnut reclaimed the top spot at the annual hot dog eating contest in Coney Island on Friday after first tying with archrival Takeru Kobayashi in a 10-minute chow-down and then beating him in a five-dog eat-off.

USA! USA!

Chestnut said he was mentally prepared to eat 70, but his body was pushing back during the competition; it didn't want to swallow fast enough.

And it shouldn't want to. In fact, it's downright bad for your health, says Dr. Marc Siegel, a professor at New York University School of Medicine and Humorless Scolding.

"Hot dogs are extremely unhealthy, especially when eaten at high volume," he intoned, with a bitter, pinched face marred by the deep frown lines you'd expect to see on a typical killjoy prick. "They're really processed, they have high cholesterol and too much salt." DURRR.

And thanks to the quantities the competitors ate, they'll likely suffer nausea, bloat, headache, and possibly high blood pressure for several days as the body slowly digests the food.

"One is bad for you, five's worse and 50 is terrible," he said, tapping his finger on his framed-and-mounted MfO Degree (Master of the fuckin' Obvious) to emphasize his credibility.

Uh. That was mostly from the linked article. Mostly.


digg this
posted by LauraW. at 03:30 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
NavyMom: "My first car was a 73 Vega. Orange. Because if y ..."

Skandia Recluse: "Three hours 'til daylight. ..."

Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) [/b][/i][/s][/u]: " Bear needed concealed carry. What would poss ..."

Blanco Basura: "G'night everyone. ..."

socalcon: "Please tell me the bear ate her. ..."

redc1c4 [/b] [/i] [/s] [/u]: "and, with that, hasta, y'all...L8! ..."

redc1c4 [/b] [/i] [/s] [/u]: ""There was a desert wind blowing that night. It wa ..."

redc1c4 [/b] [/i] [/s] [/u]: "Santa Ana music...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= ..."

The Political Hat: "Night all. Here is "Going Mad" by [i]Phantom Bl ..."

Bitter Clinger and All That (Back from the Dead): "So what do we talk about now? ..."

Bitter Clinger and All That (Back from the Dead): "GN Miley. ..."

Bitter Clinger and All That (Back from the Dead): "Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at October 21, 2 ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64