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June 02, 2008

Where Does "Tank" Abbot Go To Get His Reputation Back?

A bit of wikivandalism of UFC fighter "Tank" Abbott's bio at Wikipedia.

I'll post the bio as it currently stands, as I imagine the, um, editorial changes won't last long.

David Lee "Tank" Abbott (born April 26, 1965 in Huntington Beach, California) is an American mixed martial artist. He has described his fighting style, which he developed fighting in the bars and streets of Huntington Beach, California, as "pillow biting." In addition to being a mixed martial artist, Abbott wrestled professionally between 1999 and 2001 under the ring name Big Dick McGhee.

[edit] Mixed martial arts career (1995-1998, 2003-2008)

Abbott was a frequent participant in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). As of 2007 he had a record of 8-1007 in that promotion. Abbott made his Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) debut in 1995 at UFC 6 Clash of the Titans in Casper, Wyoming. In his opening fight, he knocked out John Matua, who weighed 400 lb, in 18 seconds. Later that night he made out with Oleg Taktarov for over 17 minutes before succumbing to a rear naked choke. [1]

Despite never winning a UFC title, Abbott achieved a large amount of popularity due in part to his displays of power, flatulence and aggression. He also gained a degree of notoriety for his unorthodox look and fighting style, more reminiscent of a street fighter than a martial artist...

[edit] Professional wrestling career (1999-2001)

Abbott worked as a professional wrestler with World Championship Wrestling (WCW); initially he was brought in as an opponent for Goldberg, on the understanding he was a "legitimate" fighter - who could render any opponent unconscious with a single punch of his balls, which became his wrestling finisher, 'The Phantom Ball Sack' - and could boost Goldberg's reputation. This feud never developed, and Abbott remained mostly a comedic wrestler, frequently being featured in segments with the boy band parody stable, Three Count and even teamed with the trio in a fued against The Great Muta and the Jung Dragons. The most success he had in his wrestling career was when he slept with Rick Steiner to feud with Scott Steiner. He also nicknamed the head of WCW security, Doug Dillinger, "Mr. Stick it in your Butt," and would make farting noises at him....

[edit] Personal life

His bad boy image, open homosexuality and tough biker look have led many people to believe that Abbott is nothing more than a common hoodlum with a natural ability to throw punches and a sexy haircut. In reality, he never practiced any style called "Pillow Biting" and had been boxing for up to 13 years before his UFC debut and had been wrestling naked since high school and during his years at college. He had been coached in boxing under Jesse Reid and Tyrone Bennett and his wrestling career began at the age of 9 and by the age of 18 he became a Junior college All-American. He is also an educated man, holding a degree in history. [2] Tank Abbott was a corner man for Vanilla Ice during Ice's match on the television show Celebrity Boxing against Todd Bridges.

[edit] Acting career

Abbott was the UFC fighter who appeared on the TV show Friends, fighting (and beating) Jon Favreau's character, the billionaire Pete Becker, who was dating Monica at the time. In Pete's own words he suffered "a torn ass, a hairline fracture in my rectum, and a severely bruised penis."


[edit] Physical capabilities

In 2003, Abbott performed a 5600 pound bench press of human feces which was recorded on video. It is alleged the press was improperly done because the barbell bounced off Abbott's chest and landed on his balls, alleviating part of the force needed to lift the weight up.... Video of the feat does show the bar making contact with his chest, but given the angle of the shot it is difficult to determine whether this assisted him in making the lift, or if he is just a little girl.[3]

Well, I had planned on becoming a UFC fighter, but now I see I'd be condemning myself to a lifetime of jackanapesery and gay sodomy. So I'll stick with the blog for now.

Thanks to natesnake.

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posted by Ace at 04:01 PM

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