Obama displays profound ignorance of asymetric warfare | Main | Demography is Destiny
May 20, 2008

Grizzly Attack Survivor: "He's Eating My Brain and I Can Feel It"

This was the savagely mauled guy who drove himself 15 miles to medical help, mentioned on the site last week. I didn't know that "savagely" included the bear literally chewing on his brain while the guy played dead.

How much control do you need to play dead while a bear gnaws on your medulla? A lot, I'm thinking.

Has he recovered? Well, he can talk, but he talks slowly and childishly. Then again, he's from Canada, so he probably talked like that before.

Video of the guy telling his story (with Light Content for some mended but still grisly (ahem) wounds) here. Article here.

God Al Gore sucks. We're doing all we can to combat the Bear Menace and this bloated fat toad is siding with the goddamn Kodiaks.

Bonus Animal Crap: Island overrun with gigantic, carnivorous mice.

Now, the word "gigantic" here is, um, not quite accurate. The flesh-eating mice are two or three times the size of ordinary household mice, which makes them about as "gigantic" as the average parrot.

Still, they eat flesh. That's kinda badass. Kinda.

Quote Unquote:

"I will meet with any Zombie Grizzly Bear, without precondition."

-- Barack Obama

"I accept your offer in principle. How big is your brain, by the way? I'm just asking because, um, I want to buy you a nice hat. It'll say 'Friends 4 Ever' or somethin'. "

-- Zombie Grizzly Bear

digg this
posted by Ace at 10:34 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Barky, returning science to its proper role: " And they dared call you deplorable. Posted by: ..."

dyno-elite canned hate: "Beautiful picture. The American flag is kissing Pr ..."

Curious : "So Bourdain bad mouthed the Clintons, then showed ..."

Northernlurker: "Six months today I had my last conversation with F ..."

boulder t'hobo: "What name does Monica Louise Berlin use when she c ..."

hogmartin: "[i]Dammit! Not first! I really needed the set of g ..."

Pete Seria: "Hey, top 50! Yay me ..."

tonypete: "Six months today I had my last conversation with F ..."

boulder t'hobo: "If Boulder agrees on something, it is wrong. ..."

Anon a mouse: "Ahh. Nice. *stretches out* ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: "The cheapies: Wiki: Air-activated hand warme ..."

Brad Smith: "Microsoft has helped innovate facial recognition s ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64