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May 20, 2008

Grizzly Attack Survivor: "He's Eating My Brain and I Can Feel It"

This was the savagely mauled guy who drove himself 15 miles to medical help, mentioned on the site last week. I didn't know that "savagely" included the bear literally chewing on his brain while the guy played dead.

How much control do you need to play dead while a bear gnaws on your medulla? A lot, I'm thinking.

Has he recovered? Well, he can talk, but he talks slowly and childishly. Then again, he's from Canada, so he probably talked like that before.

Video of the guy telling his story (with Light Content for some mended but still grisly (ahem) wounds) here. Article here.

God Al Gore sucks. We're doing all we can to combat the Bear Menace and this bloated fat toad is siding with the goddamn Kodiaks.

Bonus Animal Crap: Island overrun with gigantic, carnivorous mice.

Now, the word "gigantic" here is, um, not quite accurate. The flesh-eating mice are two or three times the size of ordinary household mice, which makes them about as "gigantic" as the average parrot.

Still, they eat flesh. That's kinda badass. Kinda.

Quote Unquote:

"I will meet with any Zombie Grizzly Bear, without precondition."

-- Barack Obama

"I accept your offer in principle. How big is your brain, by the way? I'm just asking because, um, I want to buy you a nice hat. It'll say 'Friends 4 Ever' or somethin'. "

-- Zombie Grizzly Bear

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posted by Ace at 10:34 AM

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