Meanwhile... Schoolteacher Performs Lame Magic Trick; Dismissed Due To Accusations... of Witchcraft

"Is your card the Jack of Spades?"

-- "It is... Burn the witch! Burn him!"

Good God. Get a grip, you frigging morons.

Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.

But after performing it in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes, Piculas said his job did a disappearing act of its own.

"I get a call the middle of the day from the supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue. You can't take any more assignments. You need to come in right away,'" he said.

When Piculas went in, he learned his little magic trick cast a spell that went much farther than he'd hoped.

"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' [he said]. Wizardry?" he asked.

I'm thinking that all it would take to turn these people into my terrified minions is the ancient incantation from the Book of the Dead, translated from the Egyptian cartouches approximately as "The Mighty Conjuration of 'Pull My Finger.'"

Idiots.

Thanks to Asher.

posted by Ace at 01:00 PM

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