Move Red Eye to 10:00 PM EST!

And cancel that putrid abomination that currently exists in that time slot.

By which I mean Greta Van "There has to be a missing blonde high-school student somewhere in the world that I can talk aimlessly about for 3 years" Susteren.

Seriously, is there a worse hour of television anywhere in the 24-Hour news world that doesnt feature a MSNBC host? I don't think so.

Why should FOX make this move?

Well..two reasons.

1) Did I mention how bad "On The Record with Greta Van Suxalot" actually is?

2) They are getting beat in the prime time ratings by...CNN.

Prime time seems to be CNN's time again. The Atlanta-based network has beaten Fox News Channel in average number of viewers for the first quarter of 2008, taking the No. 1 cable news spot from Fox News for the first time since 2001, the company said today.

CNN averaged 444,000 viewers during the prime-time slot — 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. — soaring 87 percent over the 238,000 viewers it averaged during the first quarter a year ago.

Clearly, there is only one solution. Fox News should move the best show on television "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" to the 10:00 time slot, and should exile Greta Van "Nancy Grace without the unintentional comedy to make her bearable" Susceptabletobadratings to the TV wasteland of 3:00 AM EST.

Think of it: who would you morons rather watch for an hour? Julie Banderas or Greta Van Susteren? Alison Rosen or Greta van Susteran? Courtney Friel or Greta van Susteren? My beloved, future wife and mother of my children Suzanne Sena or.......well, that's not even a question, is it?

And for you ladies (and Gabriel) there is always the eye candy of Andy Levy and, to a much more creepily androgynous and revoltingly "probably reproduces by budding" extent, Bill Schulz, to keep you warm at night.

So let's get this ball rolling! What do we want? Red Eye? When do we want it? 10:00 PM EST.

We're here! We're queer for Red Eye (which, as a double entendre joke seems to work in this slogan uncomfortably well)! Get used to it FOX.

Here is the link to e-mail FOX. Lobby hard for the move, my fakey internet friends!

Let's make Greta the next blonde to go missing (from the prime time lineup anyway). I'd actually enjoy watching her cover that story.

posted by Jack M. at 02:36 PM

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