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March 24, 2008

New Futurama Review [krakatoa]

At long last, new episodes of Futurama aired on Comedy Central, after a long hiatus.

A four-part story arc was presented.

Numerical analysis below fold...

1 --- Number of laughs elicited involuntarily.

3 --- Number of laughs forced until I realized it wasn't going to get any better.

120 --- Number of minutes of my life I will never get back.

600 --- Number of calories consumed in this time.

1200 --- Number of calories I could have burned if I'd worked out instead.

7 --- Number of calories I could have burned if I'd just
"surfed the internet" to pass the time.

The Sound of Music --- What was on the other channel that I should have watched instead for gut-splitting laughs.

1 --- Poke at The Family Guy, as if that would redeem this atrocity by comparison.

2 --- Average involuntary laughs per episode of The Family Guy, almost always involving a scene with Stewie or the dog.

8 > 1 --- Mathematical proof that 4 average episodes of The Family Guy is better than the new Futurama, based on all the numbers available thus far.

8.5 out of 10 --- Number of donkey balls the new Futuramas sucked, per the following breakdown:
3 balls for lack of originality in all aspects.
2 balls for lack of continuity.
2 balls for the use of "clapper humor".
1 ball for dashing the collective hopes of long-suffering fans.
1/2 ball for no tits shown.

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posted by xgenghisx at 12:06 AM

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