No-Match Letters Back on the Table | Main | Islanders Score 197 Foot Goal
March 24, 2008

New Futurama Review [krakatoa]

At long last, new episodes of Futurama aired on Comedy Central, after a long hiatus.

A four-part story arc was presented.

Numerical analysis below fold...


1 --- Number of laughs elicited involuntarily.

3 --- Number of laughs forced until I realized it wasn't going to get any better.

120 --- Number of minutes of my life I will never get back.

600 --- Number of calories consumed in this time.

1200 --- Number of calories I could have burned if I'd worked out instead.

7 --- Number of calories I could have burned if I'd just
"surfed the internet" to pass the time.

The Sound of Music --- What was on the other channel that I should have watched instead for gut-splitting laughs.

1 --- Poke at The Family Guy, as if that would redeem this atrocity by comparison.

2 --- Average involuntary laughs per episode of The Family Guy, almost always involving a scene with Stewie or the dog.

8 > 1 --- Mathematical proof that 4 average episodes of The Family Guy is better than the new Futurama, based on all the numbers available thus far.

8.5 out of 10 --- Number of donkey balls the new Futuramas sucked, per the following breakdown:
3 balls for lack of originality in all aspects.
2 balls for lack of continuity.
2 balls for the use of "clapper humor".
1 ball for dashing the collective hopes of long-suffering fans.
1/2 ball for no tits shown.

digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 12:06 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Hadrian the Seventh: " [i] Wow. Listening to the 1805 version of Beetho ..."

bluebell ~ get cooking, Horde!: "Aw, Salty - how nice! I get it about the language ..."

Cosmic Charlie: "Is Everyrhing Bach done yet? ..."

Side draft: "Someone upthread said that President Trump probabl ..."

Fritz: "hmm.  Why does the NFL continue to injure tho ..."

filbert: "[i] Someone upthread said that President Trump pro ..."

Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet: "302. How do you think she got outta the pen so fas ..."

ScoggDog: "[i]Pretty unbelievable stuff and if you can stomac ..."

Miklos Molnar, on the 49 meter band: "If that's the case we owe you 37 cents. Posted ..."

garrett: "The Rock stars in TRIPLE EXTANT ..."

Bruce: "Funny. they only fit a '49 Hudson Commodore. Post ..."

andycanuck: "I like andouille sausage in jambalaya though I hav ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64