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March 19, 2008

Osama Releases New Old Tape Boldly Declaring, "Are You All Fucking Retarded? Wake Up, Chumps -- I've Been Dead For Two Years! And I Thought Weekend At Bernie's Was Actually Far-Fetched!"

Rusty has the will and testament, and pronounces Osama dead.

Allah too wonders why all the references in the tape are not current, and why he does not, for example, mention the fifth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq since he, like all other Islamofascists, is just queer for anniversaries of Muslim defeats and triumphs.

The tape is littered with older references, such as to the cartoon controversy.

Experts also find indicia of non-contemporaneousness in Osama's sign-off, "Keep on truckin'," his use of the catchphrase "Morgan Fairchild-- yeah, that's the ticket!," numerous references to Twin Peaks including "Man, this is good pie" and "My log will have a secret to reveal later," and the fact that he's pictured wearing a Cutting Crew concert t-shirt over a Hobie Cat long-sleeve.

Cutting Crew? Oh yeah, an awful eulogy for an awful man.






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