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February 25, 2008

Damnit... Twenty Million Uniques

Okay, I'd hoped this would come later so I could prepare, but I guess not.

Fuckin' slapdash operation this is.

We just passed twenty million unique hits. That's an astonishing amount of raw stupidity disseminated, propagated, debated and dissected (ineptly) over the course of these last four long, long, retarded years.

Thanks for all you for coming here, and drooling all over yourselves, and learning to tie your shoes (sort of), and making peanut butter sandwiches with dulled plastic safety knives ("fun-knives!"), and wearing socks of mismatched and garish hues, and walking into walls that suddenly lurch in front of you, and of course menacing random women on the street by shouting out I'M LOOKING AT YOU AND TOUCHING MYSELF! I'M LOOKING AT YOUR AND TOUCHING MYSELF!" until a nice friendly officer escorts you back to your, um, cages.

Seriously, thank you. I'm a failure, but without you, I'd be a homeless failure, and that sucks, because I really like fucking television and masturbating, and those are tough hobbies to practice out on the street, though from what I can tell, both can be managed.

And thank the cobloggers too, whatever their names are, the tubby one who sometimes tries to eat the cat, the, uhhh, girl who's hands had to be tied behind her back because she wouldn't give her No-No Special Place a rest for five fuckin' minutes, the odd looking feller with glue in his hair (I think it's glue) who wears nothing but a Rebel Alliance Starfighter Helmet and a jockstrap... and of course JackM., who writes poems about women on FoxNews.

By the way: I just mention this because it's been pointed out to me by several people. I stopped counting at 10, I think. Also, it's actually just plain pain impressions -- non-unique hits -- that really get counted for traffic, so, really, this doesn't matter at all.

But it is a rather remarkable testament to a group of people's power to collectively will the world a stupider place.

Just For The Hell of It: Repost-- The Single Greatest Link Ever Posted On Ace of Spades.

Okay, so one time, in the afternoon, I meant to link some news story on the blog, but what I actually posted was the last link I had copied, which, as it turns out, was a Lorna Morgan/Danni Ashe medium-core lesbian humpfest.

I think it was Laura who corrected that. I was, uh, not really minding the blog at the time.

Oh I was at the computer. Just not at the blog.

Anyway, as it seems to have excited you jabbering peanutheads, I'll re-post, for like five minutes only, the greatest link ever posted on this site, just to do it.

Not safe for work, seriously. Not a joke. This is two girls goin' wild on each other's munge-biscuits, just as nature intended.

The Greatest Link Ever Posted on Ace of Spades, and possibly on any political blog, reposted.


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posted by Ace at 10:35 PM

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