Moron of the Year

So yesterday I was in airport hell all day and wound up missing McCain. I don't much feel like getting into that at the moment. The one huge thing going on here and I -- with a big fat assist from American Airlines and a cabbie who scammed me -- missed it.

As for the Moron of the Year thing, I was told out of the blue I'd be getting this two or three weeks ago. I didn't say anything to y'all because I was told it was "embargoed" until today. (Though it seems a lot of people wound up finding out, as people were congratulating me last night.)

I thought I was getting it at 7 pm or so. Last night at 3 am I checked my email and found out it was actually 1pm... so I had to write a speech when I was half in the bag and longing just to go to sleep.

I consoled myself with the fact that it would be in one of the small rooms off to the side of the main room, where maybe ten or twelve people would be there to see it. So even though I was green with stage-fright (the same stage-fright I got for every single internet radio show), I figured, eh, no one's going to see it anyway, and they won't even know who I am.

Then they told me it would be in the grand ballroom, the big room they use for all their big panels and speeches, and that it would furthermore be on CSPAN.

At that point I got a little greener. I didn't quite get nauseous but I was sort of hoping for a high ankle sprain so I could sit out the game.

Anyway, the room wasn't packed but there were still an intimidating number of people, maybe 60 or 80. I just started talking and managed to not pass out from panic. By the end of the six minute speech my mouth was dry as seas of Mercury and I could barely speak due to my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth.

God, I hated that. But getting it over with was terrific.

Anyway, I thanked "all the morons" who read my moron-blog for the award (along with Advocacy Ink and CPAC, who technically gave it to me).

So thank you, morons. Now that I have this on my resume, I can bail out of this blogging bullshit and get that dental assistant certification I've had my eye on.

posted by Ace at 07:07 PM

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