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January 03, 2008

You guys aren't going to believe this

I went to the Rotary meeting today at noon, and had a good conversation with my "inside source" with the Madison County Republican party. He said that they only anticipate having five precinct captains speak up for their candidates, but that wasn't the good part.

Guess who's standing up to speak for Mike Huckabee?

No, God's going to be busy watching the Virginia Tech/Kansas football game, and Jesus said something about trying to catch up on some NHL games he's TiVo'd. Huck's going to be handling this one with a mere mortal.

The Precinct Captain for Mike Huckabee will be: Mike Huckabee's sister. I. Shit. You. Not. Mike Freakin' Huckabee's freakin' sister. What are the odds of that happening?

Advice time, morons: Should I refrain from calling Mike Huckabee a pigf*&ker in front of his sister, or should I let 'er rip?

OK, serious question here. I usually start growing a winter beard right before deer season (the beginning of December), and right now I've got a good 3/4" of scruffy growth on my face. Not quite a Taliban beard, but it'll be there in a couple of weeks. Should I shave the beard off and try to fool people into thinking that I'm a respectable member of society, or should I just trim it up a little and make them think that if they vote against Fred there's a real chance that I'll have the other members of my biker gang in the parking lot ready to sodomize them with a tire iron out of spite? I'm torn here. Maybe I'll lose the beard, but keep the 'stache with those Fu Manchu handles going down across my jawline - that just screams STATESMAN!

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posted by Russ from Winterset at 02:57 PM

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