ę Anderson Cooper: I Knew Kerr Was "An Activist of Some Sort" | Main | Disheartened By Positive Public Mood on Iraq, Press Turns To Polling Demographic That Can Offer Them Reliably Negative Opinions: *THEMSELVES* Ľ
November 29, 2007

50 Nerdy Pick-Up Lines

Yes, Dave, it's old (from May), but funny.


6. Baby, you overclock my processor.


12. You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.


15. Baby Iíll treat you like my homework ó Iíll slam you on the table and do you all night long


22. By looking at you I can tell youíre 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.


25. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply


29. Whatís your sine? It must be pi/2 because youíre the 1


36. You know.. itís not the length of the vector that countsÖ itís how you apply the force


39. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?


42. Our love is like dividing by zeroÖ. you cannot define it


44. Baby let me be your integral so I can be the area under your curves

And those are just the ones I sort of understand.

I was joking a while ago about Serial Killer Pick-Up lines, like, I don't know, "If I told you you had a lovely torso, would you hold it against me? Just the torso I mean. The limbs I find distateful" or "If I asked you to breakfast tomorrow, should I call you on the phone or just open up my sack and ask your head?"

Seemed like something riffable for you dark-humored weirdos. Alas, the comments problem.

Via Instapundit, thanks to Little Miss Atilla, who's offering Meryl Yourish advice on choosing her first (girl) gun.

Even Awesomer: 100 Bad Pick-Up Lines, sent by JB.

I'm giggling already. "They call Gonnorhea the 'Lover's Disease.'"

That's hot.

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:22 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Helena Handbasket: ">>> 361 I am convinced that this administration is ..."

AnnaS: "Ben Had, still gnashing my teeth and renting my ga ..."

CrotchetyOldJarhead: "Posted by: Ben Had at October 25, 2021 08:43 PM (I ..."

ZOD: "Buttermilk ice cream, 'Acadiana' restaurant, D.C. ..."

NaCly Dog (u82oZ): "What, no love for the ballista? ..."

G'rump928(c): "A good cookie is hard to beat. ..."

Not so smart Military blog commenter Miklos: "AOP, if you stumble across a Toyota Hilux in your ..."

Cat Ass Trophy: "You need to drag Ace out of his basement apartment ..."

Weasel - Honorary Texan: "353 Cobbler>pie>cake Posted by: JQ at October 25, ..."

Helena Handbasket: ">>> 360 I made buttermilk pie once, and it was goo ..."

bluebell: "Cake is a frosting delivery vehicle, nothing more. ..."

Ben Had: "lin-duh, I will have restocked many times. Give ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64