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August 02, 2007
Implanted Brain Electrodes Revive Man From Semi-Comatose State
He's not exactly recovered -- he can merely eat and drink for himself, and speak in the most childlike way -- but it's promising.
As an added bonus, his brain now has "exceptionally clear reception" of beamed propaganda from the neocon conspiracy 24/7. "It's like he's a walking XM radio of pure hatred," one doctor enthused.