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June 07, 2007

Shocker: Paris Already Out of Jail, Citing Legal Precedent That Jail "Isn't Hot"

She was psychologically distressed to have her freedom taken from her and be incarcerated.

Uhhh, yeah. That's the whole idea of prison.

Then again, in LA, it's now legal to murder your spouse or ex-spouse, so it's hardly surprising they don't take DUI probation-violations altogether seriously.

In quasi-related sperm-receptacle news, you can now check "your boys" to see if they're capable of swimming to the prize.

The device seems to be a portable sink you're supposed to masturbate into. Terrrific -- I always thought there should be a travel-version. I mean, they've got travel versions of Scrabble and such. It should make a decent time-killer on airplanes.

Shock: Al Sharpton Interposes Himself Between Cameras And Juicy Headline-Grabbing Story: He's outraged that Paris Hilton has received preferential treatment based on her celebrity status.

He plans a rally to protest this, with special guest speaker/good friend OJ Simpson.

posted by Ace at 03:23 PM

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In quasi-related sperm-receptacle news, you can now check "your boys" to see if they're capable of swimming to the prize. The device seems to be a portable sink you're supposed to masturbate into. Terrrific -- I always thought there should be a travel-version. I mean, they've got travel versions of Scrabble and such. It should make a decent time-killer on airplanes. Shock: Al Sharpton Interposes Himself Between Cameras And Juicy Headline-Grabbing Story: He's outraged that Paris Hilton has received preferential treatment based on her celebrity status. He plans a rally to protest this, with special guest speaker/good friend OJ Simpson. posted by Ace at 03:23 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments [/i][/b]andycanuck (hovnC)[/s][/u]: "Maral Salmassi @MaralSalmassi Despite claims made ..." jimmymcnulty: "Are Australian pizzas served upside down. Asking ..." Viggo Tarasov: "Hey, that tweezer thing can really pluck someone u ..." Eromero: "322 German police valiantly confiscating a Swiss A ..." 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