Brazilian Spiderbite gives Hours Long Erection

Now that's a superpower!

A Brazilian spider delivers more than a painful bite that sends most victims to the hospital.

Its venom stimulates an hours-long erection. Now scientists have figured out the chemical that seems to be responsible for the penis boost.

Cool Fact about Fred Thompson: He induces the same effect just by shaking hands.

In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite from the Brazilian wandering spider (Phoneutria nigriventer).

Prior to this research, Brazilian emergency room staff just thought that patients were awfully glad to see them.

Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also sport an uncomfortable erection.

"The erection is a side effect that everybody who gets stung by this spider will experience along with the pain and discomfort," said study team member Romulo Leite of the Medical College of Georgia, presumably speaking only about male bite victims.

Well I should hope so.

But erections don't last forever.

Whew...I'm already under enough performance anxiety. I don't need that kind of competition.

The erectile party crasher, a substance called PDE-5, breaks down the cGMP and in turn transforms the erect penis into its normal limp state.

Enough with the geek talk. PDE-5's street name is "Helen Thomas". Ask for it by name!

The scientists suggest that a combination of a synthetic version of the spider venom with a drug like V**gra would result in a magnified effect.

In related news, a quick survey of Brazilian-based American bloggers reveals that this is the "best story to come out of Brazil since the 'Magic Boyfriend'."

posted by Jack M. at 05:03 PM

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