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April 29, 2007

For The First Time In History, Fire Melts Steel

Physicists are baffled by the seemingly impossible. Noted structural engnieer Rosie O'Donnell could not be reached for comment.

A section of freeway that funnels traffic off the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge collapsed early Sunday after a gasoline tanker truck overturned and caught fire, authorities said.

The heat from the fire was intense enough to melt part of the freeway and cause the collapse, but the truck's driver walked away from the scene with second-degree burns.

Scientists from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, and CERNE Laboratories are petitioning the government to cordon off the area to keep the site of this unprecedented event pristine enough for scientific investigation. "It's like witnessing the live birth of a new universe," Normal Druvovitch of JPL said. "

Physicist Kip Thorne believes the area may in fact be a "naked singularity," a region in space in which the normal physical laws that govern the universe simply fail to operate. He suggests that the National Guard be activated to surround the area at a "safe distance," in order to keep the curious well away from the site. "Strange energies may be radiating from the wreckage as we speak," Thorne said. "Bizarre forms of radiation, atoms and quarks previously unseen in our reality. Maybe even wizards riding dinosaurs and crazy shit like that."

Thanks to PoliSat.com.


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