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April 24, 2007

Sheryl Crow's Shitty "Joke"

She claims it was a joke.

Really? Thanks to a commenter I can't remember, here's her original post on the One World One Square life philosophy. If someone can point out the tropes typically used to indicate ironical intent here, I'd appreciate it. Seems to me like a list of earnestly-proposed "solutions."

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the heighth of wastefullness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve". The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product.. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It's a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!). Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the "greenest" life. This will be reflected in the contestant's home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??.... a recording contract!!!!!

All daffy. But daffiness is the left's stock in trade. Whereas irony, self-awareness, and humor generally are not.

So please, someone inform me of how Crow was, as people do when they joke, indicating she was winking at the audience.

John Kerry just emailed to say he believes Sheryl Crow. "Comedy is hard," he writes.

If we're to believe that Sheryl Crow was just joking, by the way, should we also believe that Julia Roberts thinks she can stop global warming -- and offset the wood consumption due to her new $20 million home -- by simply re-using paper grocery bags?

The thing is, this sort of nonsense -- proposing idiotic solutions this supposed catastrophic problem, solutions that are, conveniently, either on a very low level of sacrifice (reusing paper bags) or something that can never be verified by the public (using one square) -- are the Hollywood ditzes' stock in trade.

They want to be perceived as doing their part for the cause -- sacrificing for it -- without having to engage in actual sacrifice.

So, I call bullshit on her. She said a stupid thing, and now she's claiming it was a joke. But she's said things nearly as stupid before, and will say things even stupider in the future. Someone who is consistently comcially stupid cannot trot out the "silly joke" defense with much credibility, because so little separates their alleged "jokes" and their serious beliefs.

Ah, well. Let's just chalk it all up to nuance. Lefties want a free reign to speak in absurdities, but also want us to go along with their calling verbal mulligans when their absurdities become punchlines.



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posted by Ace at 05:28 PM

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