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April 04, 2007

Content Warning

I'm putting that up top because I really want you to know -- the link here has a serious, three-alarm all-points-bulletin content warning on it. It's in bad taste (ahem), so you're all on notice.

A while ago Megan Mullaly was on Letterman (I think), plugging her line of celebrity perfumes and beauty products. They were all fake. The funniest one was a perfume, which she had named, with exquisite subtlety, Third Base.

I think she said her marketing tagline was "A first date is the perfect time for Third Base." Or maybe I'm making that up.

Now, this is almost certainly (at a 99.9% confidence level) an April Fools Day gag. When I try to click on the "Order" menu, I'm invited only to enter my email address, which is a pretty good tip-off it's a fake. Someone really trying to sell me something would want my credit card, right? Even for a pre-order. If they ain't takin' credit card numbers, it's because they have no product to sell, and don't want to get nailed for mail fraud.

I withhold that last .1% of confidence, because 1, the site looks pretty professional, and 2, because the thing is, people really would try to sell this, and people really would buy it. Sure, 90% of them would buy it as a goof, but still, they'd sell some stock.

Nevertheless, fake or real but almost certainly fake, it's still kind of funny. But vulgar. With naked pics. A lot of naked pics. And a movie of naked chicks which is, yes, officially pornographic.

The hot new perfume which everyone will be wearing is, apparently, Vulva. Yes, Vulva. Because, as the ad copy tells me,

Men have been intoxicated by the erotically seductive scent of the vagina since time immemorial. Now you can have it anytime, anywhere -- with the authentically natural vaginal fragrance VULVA, the sensual accelerator.

I'm not a biologist, but, um, can't women sort of have that without buying Vulva?

If you download the movie (which is pornographic; did I mention that?) you can choose between a couple of sizes, so you will be downloading either VULVA LARGE or VULVA SMALL to your computer. And... the naked chicks are doing about what you'd expect them to be doing in an ad for VULVA perfume.

The url, by the way, is smellmeand.com. Get it?

For a prank, someone put a fair amount of money into this.

In related news, Rosie O'Donnell has just announced plans to market her own "sensual accelerator" perfume, tenatively named Pork Chops & Ass.

Thanks to dri.

Good Lord... I misidentified the "Third Base" jokester as Megan McArdle of Jane Galt rather than Megan Mullaly of Will & Grace.


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posted by Ace at 05:28 AM

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