« The Hyper-Stylized, Surrealistic, Grand Campbellian Ur-Mythology Of The Plame Scandal |
Main
|
Child Stars Are Different Somehow »
March 10, 2007
Oh, My: An Interview With A Governent-Trained Psychic Warrior/Assassin/Killing Machine
He can kill people with his mind. Seriously, it's what he claims.
The government kidnapped him at age 3 and has been training him in the art of psionic assassination since then. Why him? Well, he's half-Indian and half-Celtic, and for some reason, those races make for particularly powerful psionicists.
And guess who his target is now? That's right -- the drunken tyrant George Bush, who he will bring down: With his mind.
Bonus: He looks extremely goofy. Now, look, there's no rule that assassins need to be good-looking, or at least serious looking, and hey, I'm sure a lot of them do look like goofs.
But still. This guy? Come on. He even talks funny.
I guess I've just signed my death warrant by saying that.
Avenge me.