Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support
Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Recent Entries
Freaky Deaky Cafe
Quick Hits Trump Rules Out Further Debates, Declaring "I Won" Ohio RINO Governor Sends $2.5 Million and State Troopers to Springfield, Ohio Fact-Checking the "Fact"-Checkers: ABC "News'" "Moderators" Straight-Up Lied About Live Aborted Babies Being Killed The "Department of Homeland Security" Will Designate January 6, 2025 a "Special Security Event" Due to a Four-Hour Riot Four F***ing Years Ago Even CNN's Liberal Freak Jake Tapper Knocks Kamala Harris For Refusing to Answer Questions In the Debate The Morning Rant: Misanthropic Version Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 9/12/24 Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published.
Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
|
« AP: Surge Achieves "One Small Success:" A 50% Reduction In Killings In Just Three Weeks |
Main
| OK, You're All Banned »
March 01, 2007
A Line In The Sand At Ace of SpadesSo, Dean Esmay is getting a lot more traffic than usual in his normal fashion. Usually he's a preening horse's ass, but every once in a while he feels he's not getting all the attention he deserves, and he cranks the preening horse's ass act up to 11. But a couple of days ago he scratched the numbers off the amp and re-wrote them so they go up to 12. 12! Answering the age-old question, "What do you do when you've got your nitwit jagoff amps turned up all the way to eleven, but you just need a little more kick?" Well, you announce a new "litmus test" for all of your cobloggers, telling them, basically, it is now off-limits to criticize our friends the Muslims at all, a diktat which seems like it applies to comments as well. And not only do two of your cobloggers leave, your own wife, an inactive coblogger, decides she can no longer live under your Mr. Bossyblog rules anymore either. (I mean, she leaves the blog, not Esmay.) Why am I posting this? I haven't linked Dean Esmay more than once or twice in my life, after all. No, I'm posting it because, well, if you think I'm a preening prick, well! Get a load of this douche-tool! But I sort of also want this sort of spike in traffic Dean gets to his somewhat irrelevant blog by just acting like a cockmonkey every month. Or more like... every twenty eight days. Usually lasting for three or four days. That sort of cycle. So, I hereby am enacting my own litmus test. All cobloggers and commenters and, frankly, even emailers are required to obey these rules forthwith or be banned forevermore. 1. You jerkoffs will no longer call me a homo. It is imperative in a pluralistic, liberal society that all men of goodwill respect my right to not be called a homo in every other friggin' thread. My mom reads this blog, you fucking retards. Every month she calls me up and asks me when she's going to get to meet my "life partner." I'm sick of her asking me if I'm "being safe" when I go out "clubbing," if I've found any "adorable endtables" when I go out "'tiquing," and if I'm "bobbling the boy-beans" when I'm "sucking cock." Seriously. The woman is already worried sick about my rather bizarre career choices. Are you trying to give her a heart attack? You may, however, continue calling Bart gay as much as possible. You can also call Allah a homo. You can put them together in whatever preverted fantasies you like, just leave my ass out of it. 2. JackM. may no longer write poetry of any sort in honor of Mary Katherine Ham, or whatever other slice of tasty blogcake he's hungry for this week. Actually, this isn't my rule. It's a court order. Mary Katherine slapped me with a TRO last week. JackM, you have to learn there's a thin line between "grand romantic gesture" and "aggravated stalking." 3. Rightwingsparkle is no longer permitted to give John McCain hand-love in more than one thread per week. As always, this rule is subject to the exception, "unless she's brought enough for the whole class." 4. This one's pretty important: No one can ever fucking tell me "It's fucking Old" ever fucking again. Only exception? When I post a "new article" about "news" that happens to be from January of last year. 5. All further spelling and factual corrections shall come discretely via a polite email, and there shall be no public mocking of my stupidity. Anyone who violates this rule will not be banned, but will, however, be required to post under the handle "Professor Persnickety McPedantfairy" for a full month.
7. LauraW: Enough with the cats already. Oh, I'm sure you thought you were helping me build brand-identity by sticking your stupid kitten posts right under my Ace of Spades logo. Because that's really the image I'm going for. "Oh, Ace of Spades? I think it's about politics and sex. And also adorable tabbies, I'm pretty sure." Seriously, thanks so much for your efforts in this regard, but I think you've done quite enough.
Is this a litmus test of ideological purity? Why yes. Yes it is. PS, Dean? You beclowned yourself with this whole jagoff jihad. But we'll have to invent a new term to describe the hyperdimensional lunacy of comparing yourself to William F. Buckley. One difference, just for starters: I'm pretty sure William F. Buckley knows how to correctly spell "inherent," and would probably not keep spelling the word incorrectly as "inherant" as he repeatedly cited it (in quotes, no less) as a key term in his new diktat. Are you on the crack, Son? Maybe it would be best if you tried it. Oh: Via HotAir, which also notes Andrew Sullivan's discovery of a new Gospel in which Jesus commands, "Judge not terrorists such as Jose Padilla, lest ye be judged unfit to attend Madonna-concert after-parties." WWWFBW? (What Would William F. Buckley Write?): From Dean's Super Happy Fun Blog: If you cannot accept, wholeheartedly, all of the above 5 assertions--without exception or weasel-wording--then if you are a front page Dean's World contributor you should turn in your keys and say goodbye. You can do it gracefully or ingracefully. "Ingracefully"? That's a rather nonfluiditudinous word, isn't it? I might misspell words, but when I do, at least I'm actually trying to write actual words. You morons keep that in mind the next time you want to point fingers and jump around like a bunch of circus monkeys. | Recent Comments
haffhowershower:
"Possible conversation sometime in the future.
P ..."
This is not CNN: "Taylor Swift music is not Iron Maiden, thus it is ..." BurtTC: "@Breaking911 🚨Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D- ..." Boulder Terlit Hobo, not dead: "I'm of partial Jewish heritage, so basically not J ..." Romeo13: "326 Musk is an African American after all. i wo ..." Soothsayer:: " I very rarely walk down the magazine/book aisle ..." JackStraw: "If leftist hack like Blumenthal is saying this it ..." Eeyore: "Tren de Aragua, the Violent Prison Gang Newcomers ..." BEN ROTHLESBERGER: "That's funny, cuz all her songs are single songs.. ..." Jim Goose, MFP motorcycle policeman: "Avenge me too! (I'm a bit extra crispy) ..." Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon: "I know who Taylor Swift is. I might recognize her ..." Oldcat: "Musk is an African American after all. i wonder ..." Recent Entries
Freaky Deaky Cafe
Quick Hits Trump Rules Out Further Debates, Declaring "I Won" Ohio RINO Governor Sends $2.5 Million and State Troopers to Springfield, Ohio Fact-Checking the "Fact"-Checkers: ABC "News'" "Moderators" Straight-Up Lied About Live Aborted Babies Being Killed The "Department of Homeland Security" Will Designate January 6, 2025 a "Special Security Event" Due to a Four-Hour Riot Four F***ing Years Ago Even CNN's Liberal Freak Jake Tapper Knocks Kamala Harris For Refusing to Answer Questions In the Debate The Morning Rant: Misanthropic Version Mid-Morning Art Thread The Morning Report — 9/12/24 Search
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Primary Document: The Audio
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer Top Top Tens
Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) |