Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« Sarah Silverman In The Way Of The Gun | Main | Limbaugh, Coulter Cameos Introduce "Conservative Daily Show" »
February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day From India!

Of course the Muslims are chanting "Death to Valentine's Day!" -- "Death to" is kind of their "gezundheit" -- but the Hindus ain't lovin' it either.

Quite frankly, I don't have a lot of outrage about this.

Everyone hates this holiday. Couples hate the holiday because of the pressures it brings to suddenly "be romantic." Singles hate this holiday because it reminds them they're alone. Liberals hate this holiday as cheesy ersatz corporate invention; conservatives hate it as a phony corporate celebration of hedonism over real, lasting love.

Straights hate it for its overtones as a gay-camp ironic spoof of romance, whereas gays hate it as an exclusionary affirmation of heterosexual love.

Christians hate it as promoting pomiscuity, atheists hate it as venerating a minor Catholic saint, and Hindus and Muslims hate it for spreading Christian idolatry and atheistic materialism.

Hey -- I've got a crazy idea. Maybe we're all right about this one.

Not a goddamned person in the world likes this holiday, except of course for the frigging feminists, who celebrate today as Pooter Emancipation Day.


Suggestion: Given that St. Valentined died a macabre death-by-fire, let's just all agree that we'll keep the holiday, but it will now be a wintertime Halloween, but only a more kick-ass version. Only macabre, scary costumes are allowed, no celebrites, no superheroes, no fairy princesses or that other gay shit.

We could call it, oh, Halloween II. We just need to buy the rights from John Carpenter.


digg this
posted by Ace at 11:26 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
[i]Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM)[/b][/i][/s][/u]: " James Earl Carter was a meddlesome twat ... The ..."

scampydog: "June Lockhart in Lassie. What the hell is wrong ..."

Citizen Cake: ">>>The natural gas thing was among the regionally ..."

SMOD: "On July 15, 1979, then president Jimmy Carter went ..."

blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1): "Young gals in pj's at the store I sort of get. Guy ..."

The ARC of History!: "[i]What kind of mean shit can the executive branch ..."

Thomas Bender: "@311 >>For details, see the Law & Order episode ..."

TheJamesMadison, trying to figure out Joel Schumacher: "332 Decency, yet Biden fingerbanged a staffer. Po ..."

naturalfake: "[i]Airline deregulation gave us people wearing paj ..."

Quarter Twenty : "268 Why do I suspect Biden's "eulogy" will involve ..."

eleven: "They'll try to rub the Carter funeral ball sack i ..."

Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden: "Decency, yet Biden fingerbanged a staffer. ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64