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February 08, 2007

Computer Glitch Corrected; Celebrity-Face-Matching Software Now Produces More Accurate Results

A quantum leap in cybernetic facial analysis software.

magnum_2.jpg

The left will, as usual, go apeshit for maligning Ms. Marcotte's looks.

In my defense--

I never intended to malign anyone's looks, ever. All of my posts here are satirical in nature and not intended to mean anything at all that might get me criticized, or denied the opportunity to work in the John Edwards campaign. Every single word I've posted on this blog, ever, has been either "ironic" or simply a flat-out lie.

And, oh yeah: I was just playing a character.

Thanks to Pajamas Mediocrity for so thoroughly advancing the technology of artificial intelligence.


Hoist On My Own Retards: Rosetta suggested it, but Slublog did the deed:

ace.jpg

Oh, well. At least it's not that mincing pederast Wicket.

Important Action Alert: It is Wicket, it turns out. As one of Feministe's commeters declares, "Oh, it's on now."

More... photomatching results below the fold.

Once again, I have to stress that it was never my intent to malign the delectable Ms. Marcotte's physical appearance whatsoever. If my words have been taken out of context by some rightwing godbags, well, that's their problem, not mine. All of my writings are entirely satirical in nature; quite frankly, half the time I don't even know what the hell I'm writing, being all goofed up on a special mixture of barbituates, Robitussin, and shark repellent.

I promise you will not be seeing such hateful (but pefectly good-humored satirical) images on my site the moment I begin blogging full-time for the Silky Pony. Which is why he'd better hire me posthaste.

I have a pretty vicious rant and important action alert I'm holding off on at the present moment, but unless I see some of that sweet, sweet Edwards medical malpractice money, I'm pulling the trigger.



emo_philips_photo_booth_thumbnail.jpg

I never intended to suggest that Ms. Marcotte looks anything like Emo Phillips. I was just trying to "provoke a debate" about the war.

churchlady.jpg

An ironic result, given Mrs. Marcotte's Church Lady-like hectoring and barely-contained lunacy. However, note the word "ironic" is contained there. I was only trying to ironically underscore the threat to a woman's reproductive rights that rightwing theothug Dana Carvey poses.

Amanda Marcotte in Old School.jpg

And this is just plain wrong. Mrs. Marcotte certainly does not look a thing like Andy Dick in Old School. The fact that he is depicted here holding a carrot to be used as a phallus is intended as a sardonic (but quite respectful) indictment of the Catholic Church's barbaric stance against vegedildos.

Thanks to Dave, Kevin, and Ogre Gunner for offering these satirical but very respectful commentaries on Ms. Marcotte's basic facial similarity to "Phrank" from Father of the Bride.

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posted by Ace at 05:55 PM

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