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February 07, 2007

Maxim's Worst Hollywood Sex Scenes of All Time

Warning: Contains the worst sex scenes of all time. So, you know. There's sex. Unappetizing sex.

Actually, if you follow the link, you'll get descriptions of the scenes (which aren't really terribly work unsafe; it's Maxim, not Hustler) and a video clip you can click on. It's clicking on the link that gets the content warning. (Though, again, this is Maxim, not Hustler, and Hollywood, not the Valley.)

You might think that nothing could top, or fall beneath, I suppose, the Number 2 entry, a scene from David Cronenberg's Crash featuring James Spader fornicating with a... uhh... well, a wound, is what it is, and I don't mean that figuratively. What could it possibly take to beat one of Cronenberg's sickest bits of biological horror?

Three words:

Rosie. Fucking. O'Donnel. Having sex. On camera. Nice to see Satan is getting some directing work on cable. We don't know what kind of bet [costar Julian] MacMahon lost, but having to hump O'Donnell -- who can't even shut up during this, either! -- is a fate worse than Fantastic Four. When will Barbara Walters Finally shank her backstage and end the torture for us all?

Come on, that's not fair. I heard the scene was really hot. There were a lot of those rumors that these guys might have actually gotten too "into character" and actually had sex and everything. Because they were just so on fire with lust.

Plus, I heard she sings the theme from The Jetsons when she climaxes. And that's a pretty kickin' theme.

Thanks to yls.


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posted by Ace at 03:31 PM

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