I scream, you scream, we all scream..

for methamphetamine.

In what is perhaps the most revolting story I have read today, it seems that methamphetamine users are drinking other people's urine in order to get high.

Johnny Coldcuts says I ought not knock it until I've tried it, but I think this is one instance where I can pretty much rule something out straightaway.

Anyway, here are the juicy (probably not the right word) details:

Some hard-core methamphetamine addicts will do anything to get high, including collecting and drinking the urine of other users.

Police in New Mexico recently discovered meth users running "urine extraction" labs, reported Minnesota's news station WCCO.

The first indication of the new trend came when deputies opened up a smelly rented storage locker where they found 50 1-gallon jugs of urine. Police told the owners to throw away the contents, which made them physically ill.

Anyone got an idea for what the expiration date on a one gallon jug of a meth users urine is? Because I hate when Johnny sticks stuff in the refrigerator that turns bad before it can be used. The bastard just refuses to label his stuff, no matter how often I ask.

A week later, Narcotics Sgt. Becky Howell received the report on the incident.

"I said, 'Oh my gosh, this is a meth lab. This is a urine extraction lab,'" Howell told WCCO.

It's the newest way to access meth. Some users drink the meth-tainted urine to get high while others use the cooking process to filter the drug back out.

"I'm not 100 percent sure what this guy was doing," Howell said. "Five years ago, I probably would have been surprised at that. But now, knowing and understanding methamphetamine and an addict's addiction to it, it doesn't surprise me."

Let's see. What could the guy have been doing? Maybe, like Howard Hughes, he just can't stand to let his bodily essences disappear into the abyss. Or perhaps, he had a bunch of drug tests coming up, and wanted to make sure he had access to a clean sample or two. Then again, maybe he finally decided to make that new Piss and Vinegar salad dressing he's heard so much about.

I really don't know what to make of this except that: 1) hoarding urine should be illegal just for being excessively gross and 2) I'm sure my new friend Radley Balko will drop by to tell us why we should legalize this practice. Or to complain about the police having made this guy dump his collection.

posted by Jack M. at 08:18 PM

| Access Comments