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January 28, 2007

John Kerry's New Buddies Keep Acting Like A Bunch Of Dicks

I hate using the 1930s appeasement analogy, because it's become such a cliche, but reading stories about Iran's nuclear program every day makes me think of it nonetheless. Is this what it was like back then? That slow, dying-by-inches, gnawing-at-your-gut feeling?

IRAN is installing 3,000 centrifuges at a uranium enrichment plant, which will stabilise its "capability in the field of nuclear technology".

Large-scale use of centrifuges is necessary to enrich enough uranium for use in a nuclear reactor. Highly- enriched uranium is required to make nuclear weapons.

...

But the timing of the work may in part be a gesture of defiance. The UN Security Council's 60-day deadline for Iran to suspend uranium enrichment runs out next month, paving the way for further sanctions.

A US State Department official warned:

"If they [Iran] think they can get away with 3,000 centrifuges without another Security Council resolution and additional international pressure, then they are very badly mistaken."

Ah, the State Department. Truly, the very mention of it strikes fear into the hearts of our enemies across the globe. Honestly, if you were the leader of a nation violently opposed to the U.S., and you'd been reading the papers the last few years, would that sort of statement even get your attention anymore?

Imagine for a moment the least threatening things you can think of. The list will probably look something like this:

1. Gloves

2. Soap

3. Frosting

4. The United States State Department

See? It can't even beat frosting. We could replace all those ambassadors and special envoys and undersecretaries-in-charge-of-who-the-fuck-cares with delicious apple fritters and they wouldn't take us any less seriously.

And at least that way we could eat them when they failed.


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posted by AndrewR at 12:43 AM

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