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January 24, 2007

How Does He Get Away With This Crap?

The set-up: Horatio Caine finds out there's a bomb, yet again, in one of CSI's eight million SUVs. Of course "H" can't just do the normal, non-retardedly heroic thing, like just getting the hell out of the way of the car and clearing the area, or just driving it to a nearby empty area like a parking lot.

And of course the bomb squad can't be called in -- it's just too dangerous and there's just not enough time -- so El Caruso insists on driving the ticking-timebomb car over highways all the way outside the city to get it to the beach.

Did I mention there's a bomb ticking away in the car? I don't even think he knew exactly when it would go off.

No police escort, either -- he can't subject other cops to the risks he's got to take himself.

Sure, if he had just cleared the area, no one would have died, except for maybe a few birds. But this is Miama, feller, and not even a sparrow dies on Horatio Caine's watch.

Pay particular attention to how he dramatically takes off his sunglasses before the bomb goes off, just so he can dramitcally put them back on after it does.

And of course the exit-line. Priceless.

Longer Clip: With the set-up, after the jump. Contains one bonus Caruso-cocksucker moment.

CSI: For Retards is what I've always called this show. Sadly, it turns out I was more right than I knew. Morons are so enamored of this fucktarded abortion that they actually create stupid-ass music videos with glamor-clips of characters from the show.

Here's Aerosmith's Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, cococting an imaginary love-story between Calleigh and the dark-haired guy I call "Fake Greg" (as he seems a bit of a ripoff of the "Real Greg" character from the real CSI).

There are dozens of these lonely shut-in abominations. Dozens. It's slash fiction for the iEdit set.

Old position: Abortions should be subject to greater restrictions

New position: Abortions should be mandated by the state in appropriate circumstances, and should be permitted until the 120th trimester (approximately 40th year of age)

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posted by Ace at 06:17 PM

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