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January 11, 2007

Duke "Rape" Hustler Changes Story Again; Adjusts Timeline To Avoid Defendant's Airtight Alibi, Accidentally Moves It To A Time Giving Him *Another* Airtight Alibi

Moves up the "sexual offense" to avoid the little problem of Seligman's ATM records showing him outside the house when the "assault" took place.

But whoops -- turns out now she's claiming it happened when his cell-phone records show him on the phone with his girlfriend.

Maybe he was calling his sweetie to say, "Hey, how you doin'? Me? Nothin' much. Just gang-rapin' a hooker. Yeah, I may be late. Can you TiVo The Apprentice for me?"

Eh, eventually she'll lie her way into a timeline that makes sense. I'm sure there's least forty seconds of the night when the defendants' wherabouts can't be accounted for.

Prosecutor Mike Nifong defended the new changes to the story, saying, "Let me quote King David from the Bible: 'Oh well, that's why God gave pencils erasers!'"

The claim that the Bible contains any references to pencils, erasers, or God's creation of the same cannot be independently verified.


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posted by Ace at 10:04 PM

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