Ace of Spades HQ

« David Wu's Phone Numbers | Main | Breaking: President Uses Nationally-Televised, Heavily-Promoted, Endlessly-Analyzed Speech To Declare "Secret War" On Iran And Syria »

January 11, 2007

Duke "Rape" Hustler Changes Story Again; Adjusts Timeline To Avoid Defendant's Airtight Alibi, Accidentally Moves It To A Time Giving Him Another Airtight Alibi

Moves up the "sexual offense" to avoid the little problem of Seligman's ATM records showing him outside the house when the "assault" took place.

But whoops -- turns out now she's claiming it happened when his cell-phone records show him on the phone with his girlfriend.

Maybe he was calling his sweetie to say, "Hey, how you doin'? Me? Nothin' much. Just gang-rapin' a hooker. Yeah, I may be late. Can you TiVo The Apprentice for me?"

Eh, eventually she'll lie her way into a timeline that makes sense. I'm sure there's least forty seconds of the night when the defendants' wherabouts can't be accounted for.

Prosecutor Mike Nifong defended the new changes to the story, saying, "Let me quote King David from the Bible: 'Oh well, that's why God gave pencils erasers!'"

The claim that the Bible contains any references to pencils, erasers, or God's creation of the same cannot be independently verified.

posted by Ace at 10:04 PM

| Access Comments


Advertise Here! Intermarkets' Privacy Policy Support Donate to Ace of Spades HQ! Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Recent Entries Water Hazard Cafe Quick Hits After Democrat Senators Tillis, Cassidy, Collins, Murkowski, McConnell, and Linsdsey Graham Balk, Trump Withdraws Ed Martin from Consideration for US Attorney from DC Asked About His Steep Cognitive Decline on Propaganda Yenta Show The View, Biden Babbles Incoherently and Needs His Wifenurse to Step In Bernie Sanders on Using Expensive Private Jets -- Paid for by Billionaire Pals -- While "Fighting the Oligarchy:" "You Want Me to Wait in Line at United With 30,000 People?" Mark Halperin: A Source "Very Familiar With the Bidens" Tells Me That Biden, Inc. Is Going Broke as the Graft Spigots Have All Been Turned Off American Pope Elected, Robert F. Prevost; He's Addressing the Crowd The Indian Army Announces the Death of the Pakistani Terrrorist Who Beheaded American Journalist Daniel Pearl The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Mid-Morning Art Thread Absent Friends Jim Sunk New Dawn 2025 Jewells45 2025 Bandersnatch 2024 GnuBreed 2024 Captain Hate 2023 moon_over_vermont 2023 westminsterdogshow 2023 Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022 Dave In Texas 2022 Jesse in D.C. 2022 OregonMuse 2022 redc1c4 2021 Tami 2021 Chavez the Hugo 2020 Ibguy 2020 Rickl 2019 Joffen 2014 AoSHQ Writers Group A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info: maildrop62 at proton dot me Cutting The Cord And Email Security Cutting The Cord [Joe Mannix (not a cop)] Cutting The Cord: It's Easier Than You Think [Blaster] Private Email and Secure Signatures [Hogmartin] Moron Meet-Ups PNW 2025 05/10/2025 Yakima WA Contact Mark Andrew Edwards for info NoVaMoMe 2025: 06/21/2025 Arlington, VA Contact Weasel and Bluebell for info Texas MoMe 2025: 10/17/2025-10/18/2025 Corsicana,TX Contact Ben Had for info	« David Wu's Phone Numbers \| Main \| Breaking: President Uses Nationally-Televised, Heavily-Promoted, Endlessly-Analyzed Speech To Declare "Secret War" On Iran And Syria » January 11, 2007 Duke "Rape" Hustler Changes Story Again; Adjusts Timeline To Avoid Defendant's Airtight Alibi, Accidentally Moves It To A Time Giving Him Another Airtight Alibi Moves up the "sexual offense" to avoid the little problem of Seligman's ATM records showing him outside the house when the "assault" took place. But whoops -- turns out now she's claiming it happened when his cell-phone records show him on the phone with his girlfriend. Maybe he was calling his sweetie to say, "Hey, how you doin'? Me? Nothin' much. Just gang-rapin' a hooker. Yeah, I may be late. Can you TiVo The Apprentice for me?" Eh, eventually she'll lie her way into a timeline that makes sense. I'm sure there's least forty seconds of the night when the defendants' wherabouts can't be accounted for. Prosecutor Mike Nifong defended the new changes to the story, saying, "Let me quote King David from the Bible: 'Oh well, that's why God gave pencils erasers!'" The claim that the Bible contains any references to pencils, erasers, or God's creation of the same cannot be independently verified. posted by Ace at 10:04 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments AlaBAMA: "272 My toolbar has fonts and colors and stuff but ..." Eromero: "So that's why Laterssha statue be so all butt-red ..." fd: ""does it work? can you try it ? Posted by: runner ..." Adm. Josh Painter: "[i]I recall that the color thing got out of contro ..." FenelonSpoke ( give a genuine e compliment to two people today): "Posted by: fd at May 08, 2025 07:17 PM (vFG9F) ..." Duke Lowell: "Why would big tits make a difference as to what yo ..." Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ : "Many deserve jail time. Those most deserving jail ..." AlaBAMA: "268 I remember when once we can post in color and ..." Deplorable Jay Guevara[/i][/s][/b]: "Jasmine Crockett's family has been collecting her ..." Oldcat: "I think a TRO on other judges issuing TROs nation ..." Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Elephants and Earthquakes! [/s] [/b] [/i] [/u]: "Talk@TalkTV REVEALED: Police report finds NO far- ..." runner : "My toolbar has fonts and colors and stuff but I ne ..." Recent Entries Water Hazard Cafe Quick Hits After Democrat Senators Tillis, Cassidy, Collins, Murkowski, McConnell, and Linsdsey Graham Balk, Trump Withdraws Ed Martin from Consideration for US Attorney from DC Asked About His Steep Cognitive Decline on Propaganda Yenta Show The View, Biden Babbles Incoherently and Needs His Wifenurse to Step In Bernie Sanders on Using Expensive Private Jets -- Paid for by Billionaire Pals -- While "Fighting the Oligarchy:" "You Want Me to Wait in Line at United With 30,000 People?" Mark Halperin: A Source "Very Familiar With the Bidens" Tells Me That Biden, Inc. Is Going Broke as the Graft Spigots Have All Been Turned Off American Pope Elected, Robert F. Prevost; He's Addressing the Crowd The Indian Army Announces the Death of the Pakistani Terrrorist Who Beheaded American Journalist Daniel Pearl The Morning Rant: Minimalist Edition Mid-Morning Art Thread Search Search this site: Polls! Polls! Polls! Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick Primary Document: The Audio Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings) George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an Fckin' Hammer Top Top Tens Democratic Forays into Erotica New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really* Hate Potatoes Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party" Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?" Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance Collective Names for Groups of People John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive" Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments John Edwards Campaign Excuses John Kerry Pick-Up Lines Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney Torments in Dog-Hell Greatest Hitjobs The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny More Margaret Cho Abuse Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed" Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means Wonkette's Stand-Up Act Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report! Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet The House of Love: Paul Krugman A Michael Moore Mystery (TM) The Dowd-O-Matic! Liberal Consistency and Other Myths Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate "Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long) The Donkey ("The Raven" parody) Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type 2.64

Duke "Rape" Hustler Changes Story Again; Adjusts Timeline To Avoid Defendant's Airtight Alibi, Accidentally Moves It To A Time Giving Him *Another* Airtight Alibi

Duke "Rape" Hustler Changes Story Again; Adjusts Timeline To Avoid Defendant's Airtight Alibi, Accidentally Moves It To A Time Giving Him Another Airtight Alibi